we hwin!!! :)

YES!!! WE WERE THERE :)

They scrumed me :(

ALL BLACKS are doing the HAKA!!! :)

singing national athems!!! nz's nicer!!!

ALL BLACKS'S logo :)) sooo prettyyy!!!

Indeed, it was a really awesome match!!! Last match in Carisbrook stadium, Dunedin!!! But, my first ever!!! It was a really good one as i really cheer till my voice box hurts. The quick waves was fun too!!! It was good that They won by 42-9 to the Wales. It was even better that finally i had an opportunity to shout out all my anxieties and frustrations. Thanks my good friends too!!! :)) You guys are awesome too!!!

what's coming up next?? christchurch & welly!!! woootsss!!! :)))

It is good as God is always good to us.

Sweet things always come after the battle.

Yet, there more to be done, to be pulled through...

n I want to make it all well done with You.

that's weird....i guess i did miss you when i listen to the songs that you like....i miss you!!

1 down 3 to go....

woohoosss!!!
after a day less than 4 hrs sleep,
hubs was done!!!
i couldn't say that i had aced it well,
yet, i knew that i had done my very best,
all i need to do is just surrender the outcome to God,
no matter how would the result be,
i will accept, coz You are the want who provides,
You are the one who gives and takes away,
You are the one who shapes me to be someone who i should be,
Not in the other way round, it's not about who i want to be,
is all about who You want me to be.....
so either dentistry or pharmacy,
i will give thanks,
coz i am not bornt to be given either both,
coz i am a broken one who is not deserved those,
coz i am just just a simple one, not an extremely smart geek,
not a very hardworking nerd, not as faithful as You to me,
Yet, Your graces and mercies never stop flowing over my life,
Your love never stop falling over me,
Your heartbeat never stop beating for me.

Thanks for the first is done. 3 more to go!!! 3 more girl!!!
after these, there're more to come, bigger one coming, n tougher i suppose...
Yet, i'm looking forward my one week holidays to christchurch and wellington...HAHA!!! :)
AND home has 1 just left for holidays ( mummy kim flies today!!! )
3 more going to leave soon too :(
i guess i will be missing them.....
They're part of my life here....
Without them, i don't think i can go so far.....
so, mummy kim, big mama sally, jiejie ivy, koko wei, uncle steven.....
i love you guys so much....
i know you guys do so :)

Tears in heaven

I don't why my tears burst out when i hear this song. Like always, he starts to learn how to play this song with guitar. I was nagging at him again because of my terrible mood swing. I was wondering why he loves this so much so badly. Everday, he learn to play a little phase of the song. Actually, his playing is not that bad and annoying, just maybe i am overwhelming with heaps and heaps of burdens and anxieties. Sorry for always bearing my weaknesses.

Haha, i realise his playing on first three notes ''da da da'' is kinda similar with Eric Clapton. Woahhh....haha!!!

I will pick up this song with guitar during holidays when all of you guys leave, i promise!!!

(would you know my name if i saw you in heaven??
would you be the same if i saw you in heaven??? )

i am terrified of changes and leavings....i can't handle...
Yet, people come and go and this is the fact, which something you and i can't change
even though we are so keen to, still, it can't be changed.
sometimes, i really wish that we're all blood-related. Really wish that we're the biological bro and sis. And it's a wish which will never ever gonna to come true.
( Just a small dream from a little girl.)


Anyhow, thank you for always by my side, indeed, Thank You.

be reminded again :)

You want me to walk through the fire. But, You never want me to walk through this all by myself. You never want me to get burnt while i'm walking through the flame. Simply because You still want me to stay strong and pretty for You. And again, You tell me that i will never ever walk alone......never!!!

Thanks for reminding me that You're walking me through the fire......

The Omnipotent God...

Today is gonna to be a pretty brief one.......
I really really truly want to say a Very Big Thank You to Him!!!
I got 5 out 6 for my chem lab test which i thought that it was initially screwed up by me.
I thought i would get even 1 point, not even 1.
But, God gave me a surprise...a chance...an encouragement.
After getting the mark,
He speaks to me,
'' I gave you every single seconds, every minute, every hour, every day, week and months as a chance. A chance to do better for me, a chance to learn to cherish things that i had done and am doing for You, a chance to draw nearer to me, a chance to stand up for me after every falls, a chance to believe me, a chance to say you love me.''

AWWWW.....
YOU----The Omnipotent, ALL Powerful, Incomprehensibly loving God, I Love You!!!

I am loved :)

Before i go off to bed,
i really really want to say,
A Big Thank You to,

My lovely flatties, who are giving me fully supports during exam...

seb, who texted me ''don't stress, God bless!!!'',

Johanna, who kept texting me physic jokes and the one who leads all prayers for us,

Alicia, my super duper lovely lg leader who always pray for me b4 everything is gonna to start and happen,

Carol, who will always flick me a text to add on my strength and Fear NOT!!!

Fiona, who send me a very long and touching text after she read my blog i guess....weehee!!!

Dorothy, who always teach, encourage, and advice me what to do when i'm so confused, helpless, lost and tempted by some other insteads of focusing on studies...

Dennis & Ade, who send texts to me as well, teach me how to deal with my study time and method, and umat stuffs....

Ginny and Ah gong, who are the lovely one, they came to send me medicine when i'm sick and always take good care of me by treating me good food (yumyum)!!!

Joel and Vicky, who sent me a ''de-stress packet'' to reduce my stress level----their homemade lovely and yummy cookies....hehehehe =))

So, in the midst of darkness and loneliness,
i'm not walking all by myself,
i'm not running in the single marathon,
i'm not racing alone,
i'm loved by awesome people,
they are the stars in the only blue sky,
they make my life shines,
they make me different,
they make me loved......

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
I'M BLESSED....
I'M LOVED...
N I LOVE THEM...

flatties = family ?!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....i'm HAPPY today!!!!
We have a really nice and interesting talk during dinner today :)
Ah Ha?? we're gonna to sing ''Steven is gonna has a GF, Steven is gonna has a GF!!!''
Why we're so excited about it?? because we care!!! we're a big family!!!

Hmm, talk bout love, romance and relationship....
everyone has different opinions and perpectives...
But, everyone care about the how long the relationship is going to sustain??
How well you know about the special girl or guy??
How sure can you promised that you'll be faithful, so does she/he??

Those are the first part of questions everyone's mind pop out.
Then, Kim and Wei (who are those in a relationship) start to teach steven many kinds of methods to ask the girl out...or might jz bring her home and we're all gonna have a glance on her :)) HAHAHAHAHA.....

Why i said that we're like a family, sometimes more that siblings??
coz,
~when some of them wanna to go out for a date, they'll ask opinions from all of us on what kinds n colours of clothes should he/she wear in order to look as perfect as possible. (done by Wei)
~we share the happy or sad things which had happened during the day when dinner.
~we comfort, encourage and support each other during exam and test period.
~we go library to study together and get groceries as well.
~we play boardgames and say jokes together.
~we cook for each other.
~we care for each other in the ways of when we came home, who we're going out with and where and do what...
~we fight with each other sometimes, esp me and wei =)
~we are like a big family!!!

I really can't wait to create more n MORE memories and happy moments with you guys!!!
I am loved by those ppl (kim, sal, ivy, wei and ste).....
coz i'm the youngest!!!

N thank you Thank You n THANK YOU, YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME!!!! =))

can't take my eye off You....

You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'd be like Heaven to touch.
I wanna hold you so much.
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.

Pardon the way that I stare.
There's nothing else to compare.
The sight of you leaves me weak.
There are no words left to speak,
But if you feel like I feel,
Please let me know that it's real.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.

I love you, baby,
And if it's quite alright,
I need you, baby,
To warm a lonely night.
I love you, baby.
Trust in me when I say:
Oh, pretty baby,
Don't bring me down, I pray.
Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay
And let me love you, baby.
Let me love you.

well, i am so addicted to this song today!!! lolss!!
hmm...this song strikes my heart that i can't take my eye off Our Father Lord.
He is the lover of my soul...
I need and love him so badly...
well, you might think i'm kind of a weirdo...
But, the feeling of this kind of LOVE is jz so true every single moments in my life...It's jz pushing me through every challenge in life =)

I love this verse so much ''Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find?? (Proverbs 20:6)
Sometimes, i might wonder that
'Isn't the person who claims that he loves me faithful enough to be my man??'
or in another way round,
'Isn't I am able to be faithful enough to be someone's lady??'
or 'Who will be really faithful enough??'

hmmm.....to me, till now, only Him (The awesome papa above) is jz so faithful enough as He never ever leave....He is always there...and the other man who is faithful enough is my dad, a man who loves God so much, a man who loves his family so much, a man who is unconditionally love me so so much!!!

I thanks God for giving me such a lovely dad...someone who is more than a dad but as a super duper great friend of mine!!! :)

Magnificent...

Well, easter camp had over...yet, the strong spirit of love n passion towards God is still so strong within my heart. ''Draw near, Hold fast & Go forward'' is the theme of the camp,10. Hmm, in spiritually, i had grown more n more. Drawing nearer to Him....pour out myself from inside out to Him this time....esp on saturday night. On that night, when pastor Then was holding the prayer sessions halfway in worshipping, i walked out from the crowd with one of my friend, dorothy, we kneeled down n leader approached to pray for us. We cried out our soul, our struggles, our pains to Him. For me, i always smile in front of ppl...seldom show my sadness or disappointments to ppl..seldom pour out myself to ppl...always n always pretending. However, on that night, i jz don't care how ppl look at me...i jz want Him...jz want Him comes into my life once again. The part which touches me so much is when all of the hsfy-ers hugged together n pray. We prayed for each other. We cried out our fear n pain in front of each other. We united in christ. How amazing is it?? jz pray n pray for hours....pray for each other's worries, pains, fears, problems and weaknesses......after tears dropping n praying, i felt so relieved...i felt there is peace....i felt God is always with me....walk with me =)

Then, the 2nd thing which amazed me tremendously is when all the leaders helped us to wash our feet. At first, i wonder why they want to help us to wash our feet. Then, melia told me it's because Jesus humbled himself to help his apostles to wash their feet, so do we leaders. We need to humble ourselves to serve Him n His people. Humilation and willingness with sincerity are necessities when serving. She told me that one day i will be washing ppl who i am serving too. I was like ''WOW!!!'' when serving, we need to be humble n sincere.

eugene was washing cyrus's feet.....

Lastly, dawn worship was really really impressive, which amazed me a lots. Although i did complaint that wake up by 6 am was honestly too early after a long day, but somehow it's worthy. As all of us made an effort to wake up early to worship together while waiting for the sunrise...to see the wonders of God's creations. It was really nice when all of us came together to worship Lord with our voices as there was only guitar accompaniments...so our voices outweighed the guitar's...so yea...it's pretty cool n awesome.

we started to worship from the dark......

Then, slowly, there is small dim of light.......

gradually, stronger beams of light was being painted on the sky....nice right??

beams of light getting brighter n brighter....how's amazing huh??

Tada!!! daylight break through......i love it!!! how beautiful....woooottttsss!!!

So, Good morning ppl...it's a brand new day....a brand new life of all creatures...so do me =))

exercise bonds relationship ;)

This week could be said that quite a productive one.
We girls (lifegroup) went exercise in unipol for twice a week.
From doing cardio till weights,
to make your quadriceps, hamstrings,triceps and biceps muscle firm n strong,
living in such a healthy life huh?? lolsss....

HAHA, i felt that i can be more n more open to my lifegroup girls.
Alicia (the very lady captain),stef,fio,jud n rachel...
well, i love to talk to alicia coz she is amazed me,
esp the maturity that she is having, the experiences, the promises...
i can jz pour out everything to her, can jz be so real in front of her...
can LAUGH OUT LOUD, can be funny, can be serious....lolss...

Tonight, we went for badminton...haha...enjoyable one...
exercise does help in bonding with ppl,
relationship btwn lg girls, btwn couples, btwn friends,
i love to play badminton,
either play seriously or jz for fun...
i love to hit the shuttlecock with all my strength,
jz like i am giving in all i can in living,
giving in all, hit every shuttles it comes to me,
as if conquers all challenges that approaching to me,
well, the feeling jz so so similar....

HAHA...tonight, we had a fun match...
me, caleb, fio n joel laughing all the ways when playing,
but, we did sweat...yet we played in a more relaxing ways...
had been long time for not laughing till stomach pain....
well, i laughed for 2 hrs today... =))

Love exercise, love my lg,
love badminton, love laughing out loud,
love to be myself by not bothering about how ppl look at me,
love doing life together,
love to give in all i can in everything i do,
love to do my best in pursuing dreams,
love God so much so much....

gonna to build a stronger relationship with Him,
easter coming, a break from everything,
the 4 days...
I JUST WANT TO GIVE ALL TO HIM....

''father lord, thank you that you love me so much so much, thank you that you are always by my side, thank you that you are willing to come into my heart n life to understand me, thank you for what you had provided n are providing, thank you for giving a great loving family backhome, thank you for deliver awesome friends in my life,thank you for listening to me,to my grumbles everyday, thank you for everything...i love you lord!!! so much, so much...in jesus name, amen :) ''

Unashamed

well, after a tough week, after the first hubs test, after all and all, i finally have time for You, Father Lord. (i know that was wrong as i should have time for Him everyday). SIGH.....I am lost in His track as i kept walking on my own. But, church yesterday was really great and awesome one. After a very tiring week, once again, i put down and surrender all to Him that night. My tears fall as i set free from Him after all and all. That's the tears of happiness and gratefulness.

I am grateful that You are here to walk with me everyday.
I am grateful that You deliver awesome people to speak to me in my life along this journey.
I am grateful that what You give are always more than enough.
I am grateful that You make me different from the past.
I am grateful that You are the only lover of my soul.
I am grateful that You love me so much so badly.

There is a cry in my heart,
There is a thirst for discipline,
There is a hunger for things that are deeper.
There is a yearn for peace and calm to reach its victories.




Unashamed by starfield~~

I have not much
To offer You
Not near what You deserve
But still I come
Because Your cross
Has placed in me my worth

Oh, Christ my King
Of sympathy
Whose wounds secure my peace
Your grace extends
To call me friend
Your mercy sets me free

And I know I'm weak
I know I'm unworthy
To call upon Your name
But because of grace
Because of Your mercy
I stand here unashamed

I can't explain
This kind of love
I'm humbled and amazed
That You'd come down
From heavens heights
And greet me face to face

Here I am at Your feet
In my brokeness complete

Hmm, this song hits my heart and life.
a song which make me reflects myself...
why should i be ashamed of myself who is being sent here??
why should i be ashamed of God who i believe so much??
why should i be ashamed of the place that He sent me??
why couldn't i be unashamed of where i am standing and how far that i had gone through??
why couldn't i be unashamed of what i am doing and pursuing so badly for??


well, these are the questions in my mind for now.
i know i should be UNASHAMED that i am His lovely daughter =))
easter holidays coming, easter camp coming,
time for refreshing after all n all....
time for me to find back the first love to Him =))

When baby is bornt.....

Hmm..I suppose to sleep now but end up with blogging coz something which is so beautiful amazed and inspired me so much today.

Wow!!! One of my flatmates who is a future doctor see a baby boy is being bornt today.
Wow!!! She tells me that she feels amazing...amazed of the great work which is done so beautifully by God. She says that the mother is shouting for hours and hours while keep pushing out the baby from her vagina. Her husband is holding her hand for the whole day and night. Her mother-in-law is standing and waiting outside the operation room, waiting anxiously for the new one being bornt. In the moment i hear that, i am so touched. So touched by the LOVE from the whole family who are welcoming the new one to their family. WOW!!!

Then, the pushing moments is really hard. The mother is jz giving out all her best and strength to push out the baby as the vagina is not big enough and it will contract and relax all the times. How painful is it to push out the whole foetus from the vagina?? I can't really imagine how painful it is....The painfulness of the mother who take risk to give birth to the baby highlights the LOVE which every mum has for their children. Jiejie tells me that if not careful enough or some reasons, the mother might paralyse after giving birth to the baby naturally. See....Mum sacrifices so much for us....SO MUCH!!! I am really touched when it reach this part...the internal feeling of appreciation is so strong....i jz wanna to say a very big ''THANK YOU'' to my mum....indeed =D

Next, Jiejie tells me that the baby head stuck when the mother is pushing out him. It is a very dangerous and challenging process.....the doctors do their best by pulling out the head of the foetus gently yet a lil strength is still needed...what a hardchore?? God bless that the baby is being bornt. Then, this is the time for the father to cut the cord which is attached from baby stomach to his mum. Why dad of the child and husband of the lady are advisable to do that?? It is because family is a connectable entity...mum, dad and others need to do their responsible in a family. So the man who cut the cord is the person who holds her wife's hand in his whole life and lead the family as his responsibility as He is the prove man who watch how his wife give birth to his child....

Then, baby starts crying...the grandma who is waiting for hours outside is jumping with joy and merry....She thanks God for the healthy of both of them and the great news of the one who is being bornt. Well, everyone in the operation rooms is happy with the success. Everyone is touched, esp the med students. Jiejie says her tears fall...coz it's the first time she has a glimpse to watch and help in a giving birth process. She says she hopes there will be more and more in the coming days. Baby's hands is so smooth and he is named as Sam. He is very cute as well.

Wowww!!! i was really amazed by the whole story. I wish i could be there as well to see the real giving birth process. I love babies....I love to see how babies are being bornt....I love!!! So, must study really really hard to get into medicine. Well, it's jz so hard for me as international. Yet, i will try and do my very best of it. Thanks God who always tells me through others to inspire and encourage me. I wish i can be a mother one day as well =D

好累，好累，但听到妈妈说: '姐，你长大了，从前不会做的，不懂得感激的，只会埋怨的，等人家帮你的，现在的你，不管要走多远，搬多重的东西，处理金钱和生活，你全部都会了，没有人教你，没人帮你，但你却用你的生命和全部来完成，我很欣慰因为你长大了.'

听了妈妈的话，我的眼泪从眼角流出来，什么都没说，但只说了‘谢谢你’。
眼泪是快乐的，是满足的 ；谢谢是我从来都没说出口的，放在心里的，
今天，我开口跟妈妈说‘谢谢’了。。。

david cook...

If can, i want to get it =))

jz love it so so so much!!!

maybe is the design of the disc itself make me fall in love with it,

Yet, it could be said so that those songs are nice to listen to.....

Songs which may probably

reflect your moods,

enlighten up your days,

comfort your pains,

lull you to sleep,

accompany you through ups and downs.....

Yea....uni life gonna to start very soon...

days will be buzy yet contented i reckon...

might go for the audition for worship team....

will consider and pray about it first of course...

i will work it out =D

God, thanks for giving me heaps of wonderful friends here who i can pour out my heart to...who will support me in everything by building up my faith, who reminds me what to do and what's not to, who advices me what should i do in this very tough year........Thanks God for the bonding of relationship among flatties which i found so hard for me initially. Eventually, things are getting better each day. I start to improve myself in listening and understanding the slang of NZ they are using =D It was great really!!! i am thankful for blessing me with caring ppl all around me, God....I love you!!! =D

尽最大的努力

也许，有时候，
我们不明白为何父母会帮我们做决定，
不了解为何想尽方法改变我们的生活，
甚至怨恨，埋怨他们的操控我们的生命，

可是，你是否想过他们所做的是为你好？
是否明白他们的决定也许对你是最好的？
是否知道他们尽了最大的努力给你最好的？
这全都是因为你是他们的孩子，他们爱你。

爱，可以有很多方法，
每个人表达爱的方式不同，
有人只选择付出，
有人只选择等待，
有人却选择放开，给对方自由，
有人也选择承担，隐藏全部，
有人却会为爱人尽自己最大的努力。

我爸妈为了我尽他们最大的努力让我出国读书，
一开始，我却选择怨恨，埋怨，
从来都没有为他们着想，分担，
这一次，应该换我为了他们尽我最大的努力，
就算跌倒了，也要再爬起来，再尝试，
不管这旅途有多艰难害怕，都不要放弃，
因为爱，让学会我尽最大的努力 =)

看见爸爸劳累的背影，觉得他老了，我该长大了。。。

will do my very best for them as they do theirs for me..... =))

a summary before the new episodes are going to start

Well, i had great times back home this trip although i am encountering with some emotional and relationship problems. However, it was really great that through all this, i had grown more n more in Him. As His divine love endures me through the hardest and broken parts of life.

Today, in the airport, i saw a lots of touching scene. I saw love is all around us yet it's matter on whether we had discovered its either exist or not. There are bunch of friends send off one of their loved one to somewhere. They hug to each others with tears in eyes and mumbled words in ears. It's love among peers. Then, i saw a couple who are going to be separated temporary embrace each other to chest and eventually let go their hands with feelings of not keen to say ''goodbye''. It's love among couples. Lastly,it's my turn to go into the check in counter as the clock stucked to half past 6. I saw mum's eye has already full with tears. I saw dad's unbearable sadness in face. I saw sis's fake n awful smile on face. When the moments we hug each other, my disobidient tears fall non-stopping. I don't even dare to turn my face back to wave with them as i know they are waving to me outside the gate. Isn't called love of family?? My leaving builds up the incredibly stronger relationship in family. Isn't a great things to praise Lord insteads of giving too much complaints and blames??

Well, Birth giving is undeniably a very painful process. Yet, it always birth something new, better and awesome. It could be described as if in a process of letting go a broken relationship of mine. Perhaps, it's indeed a very heart-striking and painful process yet i did learn something new which probably increase my maturity level in handling emotions n problems. Sometimes, God will challenge you through a painful incident or past to teach you how to be rational in handling differents people and problems, either you want to escape from the incoming problems or encountering with your brave soul and heart. I used to choose the earlier one yet this time i am going to take the latter one as my only choice. No more being shaken by various situations.

Haha...i watch a movie on plane today which is on titled ''He's just not into you'' by Jennifer Aniston, Ben Attrack and lots ppl. But, ben is really a cool looking guy (macho guy =D). It teaches me that sometimes happy ending might be picking up the broken parts, framing those broken ones again and just move on as he's just not into you!!! So, what's i going to do is ''just move on!!! Giving in all i can to serve God and ppl but not to wait to be served!!! n My very priority is to study hard to pursue my dream and to glorify His name.'' What mum said is so true '' If you wish to serve people in medical field, either treating the sick to recover or helping people with their teeth, firstly you have to strive hard to fit yourself a place in that field, not just by saying but actions are need to be taken =D ''

Here, i really want to give thanks to Him. Although challenges are given non-stopping and there would be more n more in the coming days, yet, i still want to give thanks.

'' Give thanks with the grateful heart,
Give thanks to the holy one,
Give thanks because he's given,
Jesus Christ, He is the one,
and now let the weak say ''i am strong'',
let the poor say ''i am rich'',
because of what the Lord had done for us,
GIVE THANKS. ''

This hymn lull me to sleep tonight. I promise that no more ''insomnia'', no more ''haunted by the past''....MOVE ON and GIVE THANKS =D

peer love =))

Haha!!! =))

I love teo kahsiong & ea guosheng so much so much man!!!


Kahsiong, there are tears in his eye when we hug before i go off =)) i know how much he is not keen to send me off today. He asked me to ''bear'' in everything till i succeed in my studies. He is a very special friend of mine. We seems to have the same thoughts n minds in almost every situations. It was great and awesome to know him, really!!!



guosheng, he jz so funny!!! takes almost 30 mins to send me to church which is so near to the mall =))) LOLS!!! n He keeps turning into the wrong ways and find excuses that he don't know how to go n which way to go is nearer...LOLS!!! He is jz so cute!!! HAHA...not keen to send me off n let me go but don't know how to express by words yet do funny n stupid actions =)) Yet, i appreciate him lots =)) Thanks for him always be there for me =))



I LOVE THEM HEAPS!!! =)))

Perceus!!! =))

AWW!!! He is jz so handsome!! (HAHA...i can't stop saying it!!)
Hmm...it is a pretty good movie to watch!! Nah...not because the main character is handsome but because the moral values it bring to me.

I am jz so impressed by his braveness when he is encountering challenges, threatens, hardships and dangers. The braveness which i need so much to fight for victory in life. May not win in everything, but at least at least we tried hard for it before. May not become the Heroes in many situations, but at least we took actions to save the lost and broken parts.

In many situations, i always ask myself and God '' How brave should i be to walk through this??'' and '' Do i brave enough?? '' Hmm...i reckon that once i am willing to put my heart and actions on a matter, and determine to finish it with strong willpower and perseverance...then it's strong enough for me =))

and i reckon...i can face the problem that haunted me for months...time to let go, and i am ready to do so coz she is good enough for him =)) What a relief ?! Finally...i want to shout that '' let's move on!!! I AM STILL YOUNG!!! ''

The 3 in 1...

There was the ''3 in 1'' for me this year on the 14th Feb....

1st - Happy Chinese New Year
2nd - Happy Birthday
3rd - Happy Valentine

Yet, the first one always comes first as it is the most significant one to me as all of my relatives came back from different places this year. What's CNY all about?? To me, cny every year is basically the same ( reunion dinner, get angpau, fireworks, chit-chatting, cooking, preparing ) Yet, to me, CNY for this year is so different coz i saw n felt the warmth of the coming back n gathering of the whole family. We had a great dinner. It may not be the most fabulous and luxurious one but it was a really warmth, pleasant and loving one. It was really great to pour out everything among cousins n relatives, either the goods or bads. The whole atmosphere was jz so impressive n wonderful which i had never ever had a glimpse of it. It may due to the feedback or impact after leaving home to somewhere thousands miles away and make me feel like cherish n treasure family more and it always comes first to me =))

Then, the 2nd one is my birthday. To me, i really dislike that my birthday falls on this usual day. I jz felt like kind of weird if birthday falls on valentine. Yet, birthday is not about me actually. To me, birthday is about how tough is a mum give birth to a child. How great is a mother's love to a child till she is willing to risk and even sacrifice her life to give birth to a child. How amazing it is!!! On my birthday, i always give thanks to my mum by saying '' Thanks for giving birth to me by risking your life =))'' To me, birthday is all about thanksgiving to God who gives me life and to be bornt to this world. Then, mum, someone who had carried me in her uterus for 9 months, induced, and give birth to me by using all her strength n risking her life. YEA...birthday is all about thanksgiving.....

Lastly, valentine...to me, is jz all about how couples love each other. It could be valentine everyday as couples love each other everyday. LOVE is jz more than a feeling or flattery words. It is a commitment which needs trust, honesty, God's commands, care, responsibility and heaps. It is jz something which is too far from me for now. I jz don't really feel like i can be in love or romance with anybody. Maybe i am still not ready yet, maybe i am still letting go the past, maybe there is no right one appear.....lots of maybes...so yay!!! What i really want to do is to pursue my dreams to glorify God's name and live a fruitful life without regretting in God's plans. And, lastly, i believe God will provide someone who we love each other mutually for me. I want to have hope in love, and i want to believe there is love =)) be positive n smile!!!

The 3 in 1 in the 19th of me in 2010 is the special one!!! i will remember it for my whole life!!! Thanks God n PPL =))) Jane said ''It was awesome!!! ''

back to the past ?!

practising....HAHA....go for it ppl!!! =D you guys can!!!

girls were running 4 x 400 =D Run ppl Run!!!

Haha....this is guosheng n youquan.. =D

HAHA...i had a great evening today with bunch of good buddies, previous classmates n peers...i went to acara akhir today...what's the feeling to be backed to school which you had stayed for 5 years??? The first feeling in the moment i step into school is happy!!! I was really excited to watch all my loved ones to run for their teams. I was really excited to shout, cheer, encourage, help and serve them in any ways i can. I was really happy to spend time and do life with them. I was happy to smile so innocently as similar as the ''5 years'' i had. Dancing, jumping, laying, walking, chit-chatting and helping each other on the field brought me back to the past which everyone was building up each other in all matters. I was happy when i help them to pin on and take off their numbers today. This was what i usually did within the 5 years in sports as i am not an atheletic. So, i jz do simple stuffs n help in and out and of course shout n cheer for them =))

Still, guosheng, he is still being so naturally in front of me. The familarity and friendship between us seems like never ever break. We still love to be with each other. We still love the security when each other are by side. We still care for each other and of course build up each other. Thanks God for this friendship which is accompanying me for years n it will become part of my life no matter where we are =D Thanks puiyuen, jensen, kokwei, qianru, jj, julyn, josie, joel, xueqi n lots too =D

Then, the most difficult question turned up to my mind : Isn't everything can be backed to the past?? or isn't the best way for us to live on and move forward?? Isn't silence, pretending and ignorance the best way for us ?? Isn't this all and what i am doing will make us feel better???

(I am trying my very best not to touch the wound, not to back the past that we had, not to intefere more in your life, not to talk deeply with you, not to think too much between us, not to be jealous when i saw or knew you are good with someone else....i rather not to step into your life as i knew you don't need me or the person you need is not me. So ya!! u will be okay =D i will be okay too =D )

what i can actually do is only pray for you everyday and bless you in everything you do =D

stay close to me

after a very tiring day,

which i only slept for less than 4 hrs....

Phew!!! There are left 1 more to go!!! That's jz one!!!

hmm...bio today is pretty okay, yet screw up in the last que...gosh!!!

i was too nervous n lacking of time...so all DNA,tRNA,mRNA stuffs had been thrown back of my mind......totally forget how they look like =((

SIGHHHH!!! GG!!! the past had past...no point to keep looking back tho...

Out of the sudden, when i open my lappie,

i heard this song which is jz entirely played with guitar by Tommy Emmanuel....

ermm...i don't know why this song could hit my heart although there is no lyrics at all...

jz totally plain guitar tune which had been played so beautifully...

made me feel jz so comfy with it...

somehow i felt there'll be someone who always stay close to me....

cooking, washing dishes, chit-chatting, drinking coffee with hazelnut, sharing dinner, telling stories of each other, checking out on each other wounds on hands and legs , watching ''house'', ''grey anatomy'' & ''hell's kitchen'', teaching me academic stuffs, playing guitar & singing together.......n heaps n heaps.....making life with me, becoming part of my life =)))

hmm....jz a brief thought in mind today =))

(maybe that's influence by kim & kern, HAHA!!!)

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awww...I am so impressed by those future doctors in my house nowadays...

They told me their first day schooling experiences...can really see how tiring they are...

but, they said ''we are enjoying it, living contentedly with it, that's what docs do!!! =))''

well, so impressed by their words.....Jz motivate me to chase my dream with passion =))

passionate in what i wanna to do although i am not very sure what i want lah!!!

Yet, become a doc is always my dream since young...seems like something i really want to pursue....yet...conditions now n my ability may pull me down =(( But, yes, i gonna to make a try this year despite probability is almost ZERO!!!

Honestly, i prefer med more than den...Bt, only den intakes inter students. So yay!! gonna to work hard for both =)) n see what's i finally turn up to...GIVE ME STRENGTH GOD!!

PS: i wanna to appreciate to kim & ivy who will ask how my exam and revisions goes everyday although they seems to be to tired n bz...But, they still care...n from there, i learnt how to care for ppl, all you jz need is a simple yet heart-warming greeting or reminds...so i am getting there soon =))) well, thankies to Kim for the drumstick n bread when i am so starved during exam periods...and Ivy, your choc brownies n cakes =)) Jane meimei appreciate heaps!!!

n Lastly, i LOVE this flat...nah...not jz a flat to me, is like a homey HOUSE.....full of love & care =)))