''God, what you want me to do??''
Sighhhh.....what a week man!! a busiest week ever which i have to go through.....
who say i'm not scared??
who say no more tears means i'm strong enough??
who say i'm superwomen??
No...ALL WRONG!!
So tired...
so broken...
so weak....
till i have not been able to sit and take a proper rest.
till i have not been able to spend some time with Him.....
so many obstacles,
challenges go and come again,
go and come again, even getting BIGGER and bigger each time...
BIGGER than all them??
Don't you know it's so hard??
i choose not to complain...not even a word or grumble out of my mouth...
i choose to appreciate...to continue...to hang on...to live for Him...
So, God, can You pls tell me what You want me to do?? what am i fighting so hard for??
what is the purpose for sending me here but failing in everything?? what am i going to do for You?? So muchhhh ques juggling in my mind....so mucchhh....
Yet, You tell me to have faith in You with actions. coz with faith but no action, the faith is dead!!
I know my redemeer lives....coz He let me live.....
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
me myself...
Hmm...
i'm disappointed on myself...
I'm disappointed in everything i'm procrastinating...
I'm scared i fail so, i withdraw,
I'm scared what if people know my stories,
so i always lie, lie to the world, lie till i can't even reach my own stories...
I'm terrified of people's sympathy as it's not love,
I'm terrified of judgement as it's not care,
I'm terrified to let ppl step into my little own world....
coz i scare expectations fail, love fails understandings fail,
so, i choose to build the wall as high as possible,
i choose to harden my fragile heart so it won't break so easily,
I choose to let myself to be the strongest one,
I choose to smile and laugh everyday even though inside is so bitter.....
who am i?? i can't even tell u if u throw such a question to me...
i will just say i don't know, really i don't...
Love me means understand me??
Nope....all and all is only disappointments and disappointments instead....
So, no more jane!!! NO MORE....
Stand up, be yourself!!!
Fight for Him.....
LIVE FOR HIM...
i'm disappointed on myself...
I'm disappointed in everything i'm procrastinating...
I'm scared i fail so, i withdraw,
I'm scared what if people know my stories,
so i always lie, lie to the world, lie till i can't even reach my own stories...
I'm terrified of people's sympathy as it's not love,
I'm terrified of judgement as it's not care,
I'm terrified to let ppl step into my little own world....
coz i scare expectations fail, love fails understandings fail,
so, i choose to build the wall as high as possible,
i choose to harden my fragile heart so it won't break so easily,
I choose to let myself to be the strongest one,
I choose to smile and laugh everyday even though inside is so bitter.....
who am i?? i can't even tell u if u throw such a question to me...
i will just say i don't know, really i don't...
Love me means understand me??
Nope....all and all is only disappointments and disappointments instead....
So, no more jane!!! NO MORE....
Stand up, be yourself!!!
Fight for Him.....
LIVE FOR HIM...
Monday, July 19, 2010
Goodbye to you !! :)
After the kinda long talk to you on skype,
i reckon that we have changed so much since the thing had past for a very long time,
still, not really long enough for me to get ready to get into another courtship,
But, i'm very sure that finally i have get over you!!
Goodbye to you!!!
Goodbye to everything that i knew about you!!!
HOOO!!!
Finally...
After such a long time,
After such a heartbroken experience,
After such a longsuffering healings,
i FINALLY GET OVER you!!!
and you know what?
i FINALLY can encounter myself,
and the reality of you love her
with all my blessing and pretty smile!!!
NO MORE JEALOUSY!!
NO MORE SORROW!!
NO MORE PAIN!!
HOW AWESOME huh??
and i know that i'll take good care of myself,
i'll let myself to live happily,
i'll let myself to have a life that i want so much,
i'll do everything that i promised Him for Him and His people,
i'll be a better person afterall!! :)
And, kudos to Wei :))
Thanks for the accompaniment till so far,
Thanks for reminding me to be myself yet not ashamed,
Thanks for the bearing and patience,
Thanks for being there to talk to me, and listen,
And i'll be given the best man ever by Him in one point of my life..
coz i'll be loved....
i reckon that we have changed so much since the thing had past for a very long time,
still, not really long enough for me to get ready to get into another courtship,
But, i'm very sure that finally i have get over you!!
Goodbye to you!!!
Goodbye to everything that i knew about you!!!
HOOO!!!
Finally...
After such a long time,
After such a heartbroken experience,
After such a longsuffering healings,
i FINALLY GET OVER you!!!
and you know what?
i FINALLY can encounter myself,
and the reality of you love her
with all my blessing and pretty smile!!!
NO MORE JEALOUSY!!
NO MORE SORROW!!
NO MORE PAIN!!
HOW AWESOME huh??
and i know that i'll take good care of myself,
i'll let myself to live happily,
i'll let myself to have a life that i want so much,
i'll do everything that i promised Him for Him and His people,
i'll be a better person afterall!! :)
And, kudos to Wei :))
Thanks for the accompaniment till so far,
Thanks for reminding me to be myself yet not ashamed,
Thanks for the bearing and patience,
Thanks for being there to talk to me, and listen,
And i'll be given the best man ever by Him in one point of my life..
coz i'll be loved....
Saturday, July 17, 2010
A Prom :)
Well,
i really wish to go to a prom with you in blue someday :)
it'll be very awesome i suppose!!!
That pic shows the ''blue'' that i wish both of us wearing in our first ball :)
The strip line blazer shown above is as similar as yours!! and i wish to wear the dark-blue dress shown to suit you!!:)
pretty cool huh??
Then, in the prom,
we shall hold each other this way,
we shall dance this way,
we shall take each other hands and dance,
we shall embrace each other with love,
we shall make it works till marry!! :)
A little princess fairy tale of mine :)
pretty childish,
yet, still, i hope it's going to come true in some point of my simple plain life :)
A charming prince in blue tie with his blazer on, comes with a bouquet of white roses and daisy, pick me up on time into his clean, shimmering car, lovingly we go to a ball with romance and excitement!! :)
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Have i told you lately or would you listen??
Have i told you lately that i love you??
Or would you ever take a glance on me??
I'm not a gentle, smart, pretty and hot one...
yet, simple till sometimes i wonder who am i....
Lately, friend here and there all done with their singleness...
Only me, still in stagnant....
Love yet probably not the right time, right one,
Love yet probably no wisdom to make it soar,
Love yet probably no security and hope in it,
Love yet probably no courage to express by words....
And now i realized that, the ball of love is not in my court, nothing such as i want to give a shot, then it will definitely make it work....Not the broken me can control.....
The ball is in God's hand, and he is the only who calls the shots...
so we can see the shooting stars,
and make it even more beautiful :)
Or would you ever take a glance on me??
I'm not a gentle, smart, pretty and hot one...
yet, simple till sometimes i wonder who am i....
Lately, friend here and there all done with their singleness...
Only me, still in stagnant....
Love yet probably not the right time, right one,
Love yet probably no wisdom to make it soar,
Love yet probably no security and hope in it,
Love yet probably no courage to express by words....
And now i realized that, the ball of love is not in my court, nothing such as i want to give a shot, then it will definitely make it work....Not the broken me can control.....
The ball is in God's hand, and he is the only who calls the shots...
so we can see the shooting stars,
and make it even more beautiful :)
Monday, July 12, 2010
Oh God You are my God...
I shall gladly kneel to leave my pride...
Your words and love is the medidation
from the rising till the settling of the sun...
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
grief...
Lost of a child is a grief to a mother,
Lost of his wife is a grief to her husband,
Lost of a dream is a grief to a pursuer,
all leads to heartbroken......
we go to denial because the lost is unthinkable,
so we let go and move into acceptance,
grief may be a thing we all have in common,
yet, it looks different on everyone,
It's not only death we have to grief,
is life, is lost, is changes sometimes,
and when we wonder why it sucks so much,
or it hurts too badly,
the thing we gonna to remember is to turn it on and dine,
So, when it hurts so much till you can't breathe,
this is how you survive.....
till one day, somehow, impossibly,
it won't feel this way, then it won't hurt this much,
But, the really crappy thing, the worst part of this,
is that you can't control it and let it go is all we can,
Still, the very worst part is that the minute you think you passed,
it starts all over again,
and always everytime it takes your breathe away...
Lost of his wife is a grief to her husband,
Lost of a dream is a grief to a pursuer,
all leads to heartbroken......
we go to denial because the lost is unthinkable,
so we let go and move into acceptance,
grief may be a thing we all have in common,
yet, it looks different on everyone,
It's not only death we have to grief,
is life, is lost, is changes sometimes,
and when we wonder why it sucks so much,
or it hurts too badly,
the thing we gonna to remember is to turn it on and dine,
So, when it hurts so much till you can't breathe,
this is how you survive.....
till one day, somehow, impossibly,
it won't feel this way, then it won't hurt this much,
But, the really crappy thing, the worst part of this,
is that you can't control it and let it go is all we can,
Still, the very worst part is that the minute you think you passed,
it starts all over again,
and always everytime it takes your breathe away...
Monday, July 5, 2010
You must have something to live for, or maybe just the possibility of something....
This phrase sticks in my mind after i watched Grey's. So inspiring...
When the life breakdowns, when we breakdown, there's no science, we just have to feel our way through....
Actually, it really hard for me to stand up again...it really does coz it matters!!!
and i care, i really do....
you didn't tell anyone it hurts you, doesn't mean it's not painful.
you didn't show your depressing face, doesn't mean you're not sad about it.
The pain is there, still there....
It breaks me into pieces....
Yet, i still doing my very best to live, to live for the One who make the world turns around, to live for the possibility of something.....
This phrase sticks in my mind after i watched Grey's. So inspiring...
When the life breakdowns, when we breakdown, there's no science, we just have to feel our way through....
Actually, it really hard for me to stand up again...it really does coz it matters!!!
and i care, i really do....
you didn't tell anyone it hurts you, doesn't mean it's not painful.
you didn't show your depressing face, doesn't mean you're not sad about it.
The pain is there, still there....
It breaks me into pieces....
Yet, i still doing my very best to live, to live for the One who make the world turns around, to live for the possibility of something.....
Friday, July 2, 2010
Broken into pieces...
i had broken into pieces...
nobody will understand how painful it is...
nobody will care, not even a single word of comfort...
well, i used to be so emo till people leave me without leaving a word...
Then, i tried to change...till someone who lost her almost every emotion...
Smile doesn't mean i'm happy,
sad without a tear falling down my chin,
disappointed without telling anyone but God,
angry but not even show my black face to people...
mum teached me to bear with patience...
even though offended by ppl sometimes,
just bear it with all i have...
I remembered that wei asked me before that '' why i changed because of what people say or people left you without a proper good reason??''
I said '' coz he breaks me into pieces, till i can't even love myself anymore, till i started to hate myself, that's why i changed''
He said '' No, you shouldn't. You are jane, the only special one in the world, no one else you could be replaced with. You are emotional girl. Then, admit it that you're. Not to be ashamed of it. Not to be afraid of it. You are you who God's special made living creature!!! ''
I cried...first time i cried in front of him....
The tears which i disallow myself to fall all burst out in a time....
Now, i cry again because of my failure...
so broken...torn..
so painful everytime i think of my failure..
so sorry about my failure and let my parents down...
so useless in the way that i can't do anything well...
picking up the pieces needs so much time, effort, trust, faith, wisdom, tranquil.....
don't you know ???
nobody will understand how painful it is...
nobody will care, not even a single word of comfort...
well, i used to be so emo till people leave me without leaving a word...
Then, i tried to change...till someone who lost her almost every emotion...
Smile doesn't mean i'm happy,
sad without a tear falling down my chin,
disappointed without telling anyone but God,
angry but not even show my black face to people...
mum teached me to bear with patience...
even though offended by ppl sometimes,
just bear it with all i have...
I remembered that wei asked me before that '' why i changed because of what people say or people left you without a proper good reason??''
I said '' coz he breaks me into pieces, till i can't even love myself anymore, till i started to hate myself, that's why i changed''
He said '' No, you shouldn't. You are jane, the only special one in the world, no one else you could be replaced with. You are emotional girl. Then, admit it that you're. Not to be ashamed of it. Not to be afraid of it. You are you who God's special made living creature!!! ''
I cried...first time i cried in front of him....
The tears which i disallow myself to fall all burst out in a time....
Now, i cry again because of my failure...
so broken...torn..
so painful everytime i think of my failure..
so sorry about my failure and let my parents down...
so useless in the way that i can't do anything well...
picking up the pieces needs so much time, effort, trust, faith, wisdom, tranquil.....
don't you know ???
Thursday, July 1, 2010
say goodbye...
so hard to say goodbye to the person or things you cherished, you loved so much...
so hard to comfort yourself that there is still a way to break through...
so hard to accept the truth that NO, NO OTHER WAYS ANYMORE....
so hard to believe that You will not cheat on me again and again....
so hard to be good and to carry on or to live on...
so goodbye for everything for now...even this!!
Last and goodbye for now..
let me take a breather...
silence may make me feel better...
when everyone cares about how high you soar, only those who truly love you cares about how tiring you are when you are soaring...
crumbled...i need a rest to carry on...
so hard to comfort yourself that there is still a way to break through...
so hard to accept the truth that NO, NO OTHER WAYS ANYMORE....
so hard to believe that You will not cheat on me again and again....
so hard to be good and to carry on or to live on...
so goodbye for everything for now...even this!!
Last and goodbye for now..
let me take a breather...
silence may make me feel better...
when everyone cares about how high you soar, only those who truly love you cares about how tiring you are when you are soaring...
crumbled...i need a rest to carry on...
Last and it is broken :(
Would You know my name if i saw You in heaven??
Would You be the same if i saw You in heaven??
Would You hold my hands if i saw You in heaven??
Would You help me stand if i saw You in heaven??
Would there be no more this in heaven??
梦想破碎的那一刻，
就像心里被几千百万刀割，
让你忘了痛的感觉，
但那份遗憾就像刀疤，
也许这一辈子没有办法愈合，
为什么要送我来却让我跌倒谷底？
为什么说好会牵好我的手一起走的却成了谎言？
我知道不应该问为什么，应该相信你的，
但我却不懂得如何走下去，
爸爸说人啊，走到了尽头，就是上帝的开始，
你要开始了吗？你会遵守你的承诺吗？
我很害怕，
害怕得不敢再相信，
害怕满满的希望全落空，
害怕未来的路不知该怎么走，
害怕失败，失去，失落，
很怕，真的很怕。。。
Last and it's broken...
the little dream of mine is broken,
the little hope and faith is broken,
the little heart of mine is broken,
what left is only the ugly scar.....
Would You let me see You are real ??
Would You let me know You love me??
Would You let me believe again that You're bigger than everything??
Take the wheel pls...
drive me to somewhere You want me to go...
Would You be the same if i saw You in heaven??
Would You hold my hands if i saw You in heaven??
Would You help me stand if i saw You in heaven??
Would there be no more this in heaven??
梦想破碎的那一刻，
就像心里被几千百万刀割，
让你忘了痛的感觉，
但那份遗憾就像刀疤，
也许这一辈子没有办法愈合，
为什么要送我来却让我跌倒谷底？
为什么说好会牵好我的手一起走的却成了谎言？
我知道不应该问为什么，应该相信你的，
但我却不懂得如何走下去，
爸爸说人啊，走到了尽头，就是上帝的开始，
你要开始了吗？你会遵守你的承诺吗？
我很害怕，
害怕得不敢再相信，
害怕满满的希望全落空，
害怕未来的路不知该怎么走，
害怕失败，失去，失落，
很怕，真的很怕。。。
Last and it's broken...
the little dream of mine is broken,
the little hope and faith is broken,
the little heart of mine is broken,
what left is only the ugly scar.....
Would You let me see You are real ??
Would You let me know You love me??
Would You let me believe again that You're bigger than everything??
Take the wheel pls...
drive me to somewhere You want me to go...
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
The power of LOVE :)
After a superb trip to welly and christchurch, i think God wants me to learn what we called the power of LOVE. It was quite amazing when i realise that the power of LOVE supress ALL. First and the foremost, I had seen through the power of love between couples. A relationship of christians is not just dating, yet it's a courtship which is romance with wisdom controlling it so the romance can soar. In order to truly lay the relationship down at god's feet, both parties had to part with them. From the relationship of my friends, i can see that they are striving their best to make the romance work, not in their way, but in god's way instead. A strong foundation is so important to make the long term works, to not to hurt each other, to sustain the love. It takes so much efforts, commitments, willingnesses, wisdoms and courages of course.
Then, here comes the power of LOVE between friends. During the trip, two of my friends angry with each other for a small matters for almost a day. Yet, forget and forgive is the value which God wants me to learn from this. And of course God wants me to learn how to deal with people who get angry and bitter easily with patience. I did do my very best to become the peacemaker. Although i just done what i should, yet i did learn a lots which is more than i could imagine actually. If i could not bear with it, i might just give both of them a slap within saying anything. Yet, i know i couldn't actually do it as it would only make things worst and it doesn't bring any good anyhow. God's command- love others as much as He loves us. And i believe that we will be loved if we willing to love people with an accepting heart. Have a BIG heart people!!! :)
Well, i'm reading ''boys meet girls'' by Joshua Harris to have a deeper understanding about romance which God wants - courtship. Following by '' I kissed date goodbye'' by Joshua Harris too!! :) Both are good books which helps us to have a deeper understanding about romance. Well, God will provide someone who suits you, who you need, who love you, who care about you, who need you, who is willing to sleep in the same bed with you till you get old, who will take your hand and walk through ALL :)
Then, here comes the power of LOVE between friends. During the trip, two of my friends angry with each other for a small matters for almost a day. Yet, forget and forgive is the value which God wants me to learn from this. And of course God wants me to learn how to deal with people who get angry and bitter easily with patience. I did do my very best to become the peacemaker. Although i just done what i should, yet i did learn a lots which is more than i could imagine actually. If i could not bear with it, i might just give both of them a slap within saying anything. Yet, i know i couldn't actually do it as it would only make things worst and it doesn't bring any good anyhow. God's command- love others as much as He loves us. And i believe that we will be loved if we willing to love people with an accepting heart. Have a BIG heart people!!! :)
Well, i'm reading ''boys meet girls'' by Joshua Harris to have a deeper understanding about romance which God wants - courtship. Following by '' I kissed date goodbye'' by Joshua Harris too!! :) Both are good books which helps us to have a deeper understanding about romance. Well, God will provide someone who suits you, who you need, who love you, who care about you, who need you, who is willing to sleep in the same bed with you till you get old, who will take your hand and walk through ALL :)
Monday, June 21, 2010
Sometimes, it can be as simple as just like that!!
This song reminds me of you in the late night. Reminds me that how hard you are learning to sing this song as you like it that much too!!! ''As in i'm in paradise with your presence'' is the meaning of the whole song. Happiness is as simple as just with the presence of your loved one. Sometimes, he/she might not be yours, yet he/she is in your heart. The presence of love deep in the heart. Yet, so hard for me to believe that i will be loved, i will be cherished, i will be adored, So HARD!!! Thus, not to let myself to have the time to think too much, to hope for love, to search its presence, to not to be broken into pieces again, i choose to close my heart for now. Not the time ready to love someone, no right one appear for now, not the correct period to fall for someone, not enough courage to open my heart again. I might admire, yet it's just admire, not love. Anyway, God will provide when the time comes and this is the only thing i believe in love.
I guess i miss you again when there's no one else tricks me as you always do. All alone is a little bit of creepy i reckon. Anyhow, Off to chch and welly from tmrw!!! A big 'YEAH!!!'' for that!!! N thanks dear Lord for being still good to me!! :)
Saturday, June 19, 2010
we hwin!!! :)
YES!!! WE WERE THERE :)
They scrumed me :(
ALL BLACKS are doing the HAKA!!! :)
singing national athems!!! nz's nicer!!!
ALL BLACKS'S logo :)) sooo prettyyy!!!
Indeed, it was a really awesome match!!! Last match in Carisbrook stadium, Dunedin!!! But, my first ever!!! It was a really good one as i really cheer till my voice box hurts. The quick waves was fun too!!! It was good that They won by 42-9 to the Wales. It was even better that finally i had an opportunity to shout out all my anxieties and frustrations. Thanks my good friends too!!! :)) You guys are awesome too!!!
that's weird....i guess i did miss you when i listen to the songs that you like....i miss you!!
ALL BLACKS are doing the HAKA!!! :)
singing national athems!!! nz's nicer!!!
ALL BLACKS'S logo :)) sooo prettyyy!!! Indeed, it was a really awesome match!!! Last match in Carisbrook stadium, Dunedin!!! But, my first ever!!! It was a really good one as i really cheer till my voice box hurts. The quick waves was fun too!!! It was good that They won by 42-9 to the Wales. It was even better that finally i had an opportunity to shout out all my anxieties and frustrations. Thanks my good friends too!!! :)) You guys are awesome too!!!
what's coming up next?? christchurch & welly!!! woootsss!!! :)))
It is good as God is always good to us.
Sweet things always come after the battle.
Yet, there more to be done, to be pulled through...
n I want to make it all well done with You.
that's weird....i guess i did miss you when i listen to the songs that you like....i miss you!!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
need You now....
hooked!!!
it's a quarter after one, i'm a little drunk and i need you now....
it's a quarter after one, i'm all alone and i need you now...
ohh...physic....i need you to go into my mind now...
Oh Lord, need so much wisdom, so much!!!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
arrogance
Hmm...finally, left the last to go, yet it's hard...
Yesterday, the ugly me came out and pissed him off.
Why am i so arrogant??
why am i so capricious,muleheaded??
maybe it's exam fever...
but i still need to control myself,
i still need to behave myself,
i still need to have the patience(which is so hard for me to earn)!!!
The guiltiness overwhelming my head and soul from last night till now,
albeit he is not angry anymore.
Yet, sorry seems to be the hardest to say...indeed, i can't spill it out from my mouth due to my ego and arrogance.
He is someone who is near to perfect,
someone who is more precise than me in doing task,
someone who has the patience which i don't really have,
someone who care and love people via words and actions,
someone who is knowledgable, smart, charming,
someone who you might think he is witty but he's not,
someone who always build me up instead of drag me down,
someone who i love to chat and grumble with and listen to,
someone who love origami, romance movie, love songs & starting to hum chinese songs,
someone who take very good care of his health, even teach me how to eat healthily,
someone who always help me to remember what i forgot most of the time (keys!!!)
Thanks God for showing me such a nice person who is becoming a mentor of me,
God,
change me to a better one,
change me to someone who can be able to do Your great works,
change me to someone who can be able to serve Your people,
change me to someone who a christian girl should be...
change me O Lord....
Yesterday, the ugly me came out and pissed him off.
Why am i so arrogant??
why am i so capricious,muleheaded??
maybe it's exam fever...
but i still need to control myself,
i still need to behave myself,
i still need to have the patience(which is so hard for me to earn)!!!
The guiltiness overwhelming my head and soul from last night till now,
albeit he is not angry anymore.
Yet, sorry seems to be the hardest to say...indeed, i can't spill it out from my mouth due to my ego and arrogance.
He is someone who is near to perfect,
someone who is more precise than me in doing task,
someone who has the patience which i don't really have,
someone who care and love people via words and actions,
someone who is knowledgable, smart, charming,
someone who you might think he is witty but he's not,
someone who always build me up instead of drag me down,
someone who i love to chat and grumble with and listen to,
someone who love origami, romance movie, love songs & starting to hum chinese songs,
someone who take very good care of his health, even teach me how to eat healthily,
someone who always help me to remember what i forgot most of the time (keys!!!)
Thanks God for showing me such a nice person who is becoming a mentor of me,
God,
change me to a better one,
change me to someone who can be able to do Your great works,
change me to someone who can be able to serve Your people,
change me to someone who a christian girl should be...
change me O Lord....
Sunday, June 13, 2010
strong enough to save.....
He is strong enough to save...
strong enough to save you and me....
strong enough to hold us from the chaos...
strong enough to make me to live for Him again....
strong enough to strengthen us from our weaknesses....
strong enough to pull me through all these....
You are strong enough to let me cling on You in the storm...
2 down, 2 to go!!!
Pls remember He is strong enough to save....
hold on girl!!!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
knock on the stupid me!!!
This time really sighhhhhh....
cels = knock on the hardhead of stupid me!!!
How?? How?? HOW??
how to be bigger than this??
how can i keep memorising it without forgetting??
dieeeeeeeee......dieeeeeeeee!!!
perhaps, i really not suitable to do science.....
SIGHHHHH......
i really don't how to carry on....
couldn't sleep, couldn't eat,
what goes in, all come out,
the heart, the faith all sink,
no hope, no tomorrow, no future,
oh God, pls help!!!
You said You're here,
but where are You now??
cels = knock on the hardhead of stupid me!!!
How?? How?? HOW??
how to be bigger than this??
how can i keep memorising it without forgetting??
dieeeeeeeee......dieeeeeeeee!!!
perhaps, i really not suitable to do science.....
SIGHHHHH......
i really don't how to carry on....
couldn't sleep, couldn't eat,
what goes in, all come out,
the heart, the faith all sink,
no hope, no tomorrow, no future,
oh God, pls help!!!
You said You're here,
but where are You now??
Friday, June 11, 2010
1 down 3 to go....
woohoosss!!!
after a day less than 4 hrs sleep,
hubs was done!!!
i couldn't say that i had aced it well,
yet, i knew that i had done my very best,
all i need to do is just surrender the outcome to God,
no matter how would the result be,
i will accept, coz You are the want who provides,
You are the one who gives and takes away,
You are the one who shapes me to be someone who i should be,
Not in the other way round, it's not about who i want to be,
is all about who You want me to be.....
so either dentistry or pharmacy,
i will give thanks,
coz i am not bornt to be given either both,
coz i am a broken one who is not deserved those,
coz i am just just a simple one, not an extremely smart geek,
not a very hardworking nerd, not as faithful as You to me,
Yet, Your graces and mercies never stop flowing over my life,
Your love never stop falling over me,
Your heartbeat never stop beating for me.
Thanks for the first is done. 3 more to go!!! 3 more girl!!!
after these, there're more to come, bigger one coming, n tougher i suppose...
Yet, i'm looking forward my one week holidays to christchurch and wellington...HAHA!!! :)
AND home has 1 just left for holidays ( mummy kim flies today!!! )
3 more going to leave soon too :(
i guess i will be missing them.....
They're part of my life here....
Without them, i don't think i can go so far.....
so, mummy kim, big mama sally, jiejie ivy, koko wei, uncle steven.....
i love you guys so much....
i know you guys do so :)
after a day less than 4 hrs sleep,
hubs was done!!!
i couldn't say that i had aced it well,
yet, i knew that i had done my very best,
all i need to do is just surrender the outcome to God,
no matter how would the result be,
i will accept, coz You are the want who provides,
You are the one who gives and takes away,
You are the one who shapes me to be someone who i should be,
Not in the other way round, it's not about who i want to be,
is all about who You want me to be.....
so either dentistry or pharmacy,
i will give thanks,
coz i am not bornt to be given either both,
coz i am a broken one who is not deserved those,
coz i am just just a simple one, not an extremely smart geek,
not a very hardworking nerd, not as faithful as You to me,
Yet, Your graces and mercies never stop flowing over my life,
Your love never stop falling over me,
Your heartbeat never stop beating for me.
Thanks for the first is done. 3 more to go!!! 3 more girl!!!
after these, there're more to come, bigger one coming, n tougher i suppose...
Yet, i'm looking forward my one week holidays to christchurch and wellington...HAHA!!! :)
AND home has 1 just left for holidays ( mummy kim flies today!!! )
3 more going to leave soon too :(
i guess i will be missing them.....
They're part of my life here....
Without them, i don't think i can go so far.....
so, mummy kim, big mama sally, jiejie ivy, koko wei, uncle steven.....
i love you guys so much....
i know you guys do so :)
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