Broken into pieces...

i had broken into pieces...
nobody will understand how painful it is...
nobody will care, not even a single word of comfort...
well, i used to be so emo till people leave me without leaving a word...
Then, i tried to change...till someone who lost her almost every emotion...
Smile doesn't mean i'm happy,
sad without a tear falling down my chin,
disappointed without telling anyone but God,
angry but not even show my black face to people...
mum teached me to bear with patience...
even though offended by ppl sometimes,
just bear it with all i have...

I remembered that wei asked me before that '' why i changed because of what people say or people left you without a proper good reason??''
I said '' coz he breaks me into pieces, till i can't even love myself anymore, till i started to hate myself, that's why i changed''
He said '' No, you shouldn't. You are jane, the only special one in the world, no one else you could be replaced with. You are emotional girl. Then, admit it that you're. Not to be ashamed of it. Not to be afraid of it. You are you who God's special made living creature!!! ''
I cried...first time i cried in front of him....
The tears which i disallow myself to fall all burst out in a time....

Now, i cry again because of my failure...
so broken...torn..
so painful everytime i think of my failure..
so sorry about my failure and let my parents down...
so useless in the way that i can't do anything well...

picking up the pieces needs so much time, effort, trust, faith, wisdom, tranquil.....
don't you know ???