knock on the stupid me!!!

This time really sighhhhhh....
cels = knock on the hardhead of stupid me!!!
How?? How?? HOW??
how to be bigger than this??
how can i keep memorising it without forgetting??
dieeeeeeeee......dieeeeeeeee!!!
perhaps, i really not suitable to do science.....
SIGHHHHH......

i really don't how to carry on....
couldn't sleep, couldn't eat,
what goes in, all come out,
the heart, the faith all sink,
no hope, no tomorrow, no future,
oh God, pls help!!!
You said You're here,
but where are You now??