You're the alpha and omega!!!

'' It's all about You, Jesus,
And all these is for You,
for Your glory and faith,
It's not about me,
as You should do things my way,
You alone are God and
I surrender!!! ''

You're the lover of my soul. Alpha and Omega, You have loved me. And i SURRENDER!!!

When everything juggled, anxieties covered, worries overwhelmed, I found out that You're carrying everything, EVERYTHING with me........I am not walking alone, not studying alone in the small cubicle in Med library everyday till it closes at the midnight, even though there's no one else anymore, But I'm very sure that You're there with me......

We were once like that...

I was studying the whole day in med lib with alicia and ben. Their actions reminded me of us. The '' together studying'', sharing food, teaching each other, nagging, grumbling...reminded me of us. We were once like that. You always and always bear on my grumpiness. We always share our food during recess. I always bring more cakes which made by my mum to share with you and you always allow me to have a bite on your chicken-frosted bun. Lols....i miss that time....That time which you'll always there for me even though we're not in a relationship. I miss the time when i always snatch your addmath book and exercises while you're doing. I miss the time we were sharing your notes and reminding each other the main point to be remembered. I miss the time you was teaching me all the sciences and math stuffs whereas i teached you sejarah instead. I miss the time when i will never ever sit alone during tuition because you'll always sit by my side.

How strange is that as we were so close so good in 5 years but never commit in a relationship??
How strange is that as everytime i went back for visit, i could feel that you're not willing to let me go by purposely make more few turns on road??
How strange is that as everytime i chat with you in msn, you are still be able to bear with me??
How strange is that as in everytime i was in troubles i am thinking of you?? thinking that how good it would be if you could be here for me??
How strange is that you always scare me that i'll misunderstand you have fallen for someone??

We were once like that......
You were once who allowed me to dream that there's a gurdian angel....
I was once to be allowed to be myself in front of you...
we were once like that.....

it's the time!!!

''Time to rise above the circumstances.'', such a well said by Jimmy.
It's less than 2 weeks. But what i had done is just less than what should be expected!!!
The challenges + the crappy weather tear me up seriously!!!

Stop dreaming Jane,
Stop thinking about the unrealistic matters,
Stop procrastinating,
Stop!!!!

You gonna to rise above the circumstances!!!
be a strong daughter of Him!!!

Mr sunshine...

Oh my Mr Sunshine,
you're so attractive,
you're so beautiful,
but why i don't see you??

Oh my Mr Sunshine,
you're so in need,
you're being loved,
but why you still in apathy??

Oh my Mr Sunshine,
without you, i hibernate,
without you, i binge on food,
without you, i am in cold,
So, don't you know how much how badly i am missing you??

Tears in heaven

I don't why my tears burst out when i hear this song. Like always, he starts to learn how to play this song with guitar. I was nagging at him again because of my terrible mood swing. I was wondering why he loves this so much so badly. Everday, he learn to play a little phase of the song. Actually, his playing is not that bad and annoying, just maybe i am overwhelming with heaps and heaps of burdens and anxieties. Sorry for always bearing my weaknesses.

Haha, i realise his playing on first three notes ''da da da'' is kinda similar with Eric Clapton. Woahhh....haha!!!

I will pick up this song with guitar during holidays when all of you guys leave, i promise!!!

(would you know my name if i saw you in heaven??
would you be the same if i saw you in heaven??? )

i am terrified of changes and leavings....i can't handle...
Yet, people come and go and this is the fact, which something you and i can't change
even though we are so keen to, still, it can't be changed.
sometimes, i really wish that we're all blood-related. Really wish that we're the biological bro and sis. And it's a wish which will never ever gonna to come true.
( Just a small dream from a little girl.)


Anyhow, thank you for always by my side, indeed, Thank You.

be reminded again :)

You want me to walk through the fire. But, You never want me to walk through this all by myself. You never want me to get burnt while i'm walking through the flame. Simply because You still want me to stay strong and pretty for You. And again, You tell me that i will never ever walk alone......never!!!

Thanks for reminding me that You're walking me through the fire......

You're my everything.

'' Righteousness will be His belt, and faithfulness the sash around His waist.'' (Isaiah 11:5)

He is so faithful,
faithful in every single little things,
faithful in His unfailing promises,
faithful in the ways He works.

However,
I am not,
not faithful at all,
i doubt His love,
i reckon that He's not with me,
i blamed and grumbled at Him,

if you ask me ''isn't He is your everything??'',
i might not know how to answer,
i might not say Yes,
i might hesistate before i can actually answer,

Why?? why i lose FAITH in Him??
why the track that i walk with Him becoming so tough??
why i am so doubtful of His Great Love??

I can't really feel that He is my everything,
could be said that i found it so hard for me to claim that He is actually my everything, it's just so hard for me to proclaim it.So hard!!! I could say that He is my King, my saviour, my Prince of peace, but is just so hard for me to say that He is my EVERYTHING, the everything of me and in me!!!

I know i should not doubt,
should not suspect,
should not ask why,
SHOULD NOT!!!

I really really want to be faithful to You as much as how much You're faithful to me, even though i doubt, i suspect, i fear, i insecure with Your love. I'm trying my very best, the very best to come back to the path which i used to walked with You, the very best to relook how You're working in my life with Your Great Love and the very best to sustain my Faith in You.

You're my everything,
the word 'everything' is too strong....
till hard to say yes....