Every flower must grow through dirt.....

I want to share 3 songs which inspire n encourage me lots these days...

1st-- Note To God by charice ( which Joan posted on fb yesterday, n i was so touched by this song till i kept on humming it in school today. This song seems like a prayer i utter to God always since everything changed n went wrong on the road i am walking. Every morning n night, i always jot a small note to God, asking Him to strengthen me the whole day n appreciate that i have one more day to be alived. When i stand at the end of the road, his tenderness always reach out to me through the care which is given by family n peers. Somethings in life never have a clue, somethings in life we can't do by our own, Yet, once u submit everything to God, things will work out in a special way that u never ever thought of =))




2nd--Potter's hand by hillsongs
i don't why i love this song so much n yea this song is meaningful. I am in a potter's hand who mould me, shape me, change me and crafted me into Your plan since You decided to send me here n away from my comfort zone. Eventually, i still choose to give all of my life to Your hands no matter how tough the journey will going to be. Here, pls assure me that You will hold me, guide me, lead me and walk beside me in this tough journey. I believe in my potter's hand it will be a promising journey n year =))





3rd--Take my hand and walk by The Kry (which i knew from jen's blog)

This song inspire me heaps after every experience n hardship which i had walked through in my growth. Don't live in the past cause yesterday's gone, wishing memories would last coz i'm afraid to carry on. I don't know what's comin' but I know the one who holds tomorrow. This song is like someone who is talking face to face with me, remind me that there always has Someone who take my hand and walk with me....awwww...i love this song =))) ( wish to have a duet of this song with my future life partner in our wedding day) HAHAHA...will be sweet n meaningful coz we take each other hands n walk in God's blessing n path to pursue the happiness =))






Here comes the lyrics of the last song =)))

I know there are times
your dreams turn to dust
you wonder as you cry
why it has to hurt so much
give Me all your sadness
someday you will know the reason why
with a child-like heart
simply put your trust in Me
CHORUS:Take My hand and walk where I lead
keep your eyes on Me alone
don't you say why were the old days better
just because you're scared of the unknown
take My hand and walk

Don't live in the past
cause yesterday's gone
wishing memories would last
you're afraid to carry on
you don't know what's comin'
but you know the one who holds tomorrow
I will be your guide
take you through the night
if you keep your eyes on Me
Take my hand and walk where I lead
Keep your eyes on me alone
don't you say why were the old days better
just because you're afraid of the unknown
take my hand and walk where I lead
you will never be alone
faith is to be sure of what you hope for
and the evidence of things unseen
so take my hand and walk
Just like a childholdings daddy's hand
don't let go of mineyou know you can't stand
on your own
(repeat chorus)

Words by Jean-Luc Lajoie and Yves Lajoie
Music by Jean-Luc Lajoie

Woots...Woots!!!

Ohhh....they made it for You, my lord!!!
n i hope i will make it for You as well in the year which come upon..
ohh...What's a great christmas present is it...
n I wish i can have the same one next year as well...

Wootss....Wootss...
sebs got med, like a miracle for inters...
carol got den, she thanks God for all...
Joel waiting list for den...we praying for him...
Ezra, i think he got den as well......wootss!!!

N now heaps n heaps of ques are popping out of my mind.....
''How could they make it??''
''How am i gonna to make it??''
''Can i get into what i want to??''
''Can i use the ways which may glorify God to make it ??''
''Can ppl put off the selfishness n helping each others??''
''Can ppl tear down the mask they r wearing??''
''Can the ''love'' You commanded to be shown among peers??''
''Can i see the door You prepare for me one day??''
''Can i make it for You?? n jz for You alone, bt not for me??''
''Can i persevere till the end strong??''

I wonder why, i wonder how, i wonder what am i going to do......soon n very soon....

i discovered that...
The course ppl want to get into jz like ''1 million''....
some will fight for it without humanities,
some will fight for it within the commandments of The Big Papa Above,
some will only live for the ''1 million'' n loss All which much more worthy,
some will live for Him n they get more than ''1 million'' of course....

Thus, who u wanna to be?? who r u going to live for?? Him?? or for yourself??

To me...i will like to live for Him, n opt for the eternal life rather than the ''1 million''.......
ppl may earn the whole world, without humanities, the whole world is jz worthless!!!!

so, yea....i will work n strive for Him, n jz Him in the year upon....
i know it will be really really tough for me...coz i know my ability....
but yea...i have Him!!! My Big Papa Above, nothing is impossible!!!
jz swung in the saddle n RUSH N GO!!! =)))

The first grad i had attended!!! an inspired one!!!

See, she is Jen with flowersn her gown of course!!! =))

YEA!!! Today, 12th the 12 (a.k.a 12th dec 09), i attended Jen's, martin's, Han's n Annet's graduation!!! It's a great one indeed!! and it reallly inspire me lots!!

When i reached there, everyone was happily gathered in front of den school for the parade. HAHA....i was so amazed by lots n lots of asians. WOW....there were almost half of the total is asians!!! Then, i was wondering the gown they were wearing with a piece of different colours silk cloth ( i don't know how to describe act.) So, i asked melia bout the colours, she told me that :

med-light purple, den-dark purple, gold-applied science, green-physio, blue-commence, pink-arts, violet-den tech and etc. I love the light purple n the darker ones.....haha!!! Then, i realized that there were lots n lots of docs n dentists standing around me.....so happy!!! They looked so nice, pretty n handsome as well =))

Now, is the time fthe parade began although there were thiny lil drops of rain accompanied us!!! i really really love the parade. Those graduates were holding bouquets of flower, wearing the four-sided graduate hat, walking in heels n leather shoes with the heaps of blessings from families n peers of course!!! WOW....i really really FALL IN LOVE with it!!! =)) is so wonderful!!!

Congratz to Jen (applied sci), Martin (med-doc!!!), Hans ( physio) and Annet ( den!!)!!!! You guys look really really great!!! eee...i wanna to go to andrew's n eugene's on Wed!!! can't wait la!!!

From the first grad i attended in my life, i got lots of inspirations n encouragements!!! n I really really grateful to someone who encourage me a lots with God's word. Hey, you are not that introvert!!! You really can talk..n talk even more than me!! Thank you for him as he keeps on reminding me to stay POSITIVE!!! He knows i am a really bitter grl although i looks cheerful from outside. Yet, he looks into inside ( the internal part of me). Yea, i know it's so hard to accept or to encourage someone who easily depressed or always live in despair. Yet, u jz don't care what ppl think of me. You jz give all the advices each day when i said something which is so NEGATIVE!!

You said '' if you live in despair means u never ever want God to enter ur life n heart to help n lead you. You are jz burdening yourself. Although u knows crying or blaming or ''sighs'' are so pointless to a situation happened, yet there is still no peace in your heart coz you didn't want to hold on Hope, Faith n Love. You said u r fear, so u lose all the hopes n confidences. Yet, why don't u try to think POSITIVELY!!!! STAND UP after u failed, THINK POSITIVELY although u may fail, DO WHAT U CAN DO n don't bother what ppl told u!!! When u believe there is hope, faith, hope n love, u r letting God leading ur way!! =))''

At the moment, i stunned by what u told me. My eyes was blinking at you. n I realized that u had talked to me for 2 hrs. n I was silent in those hrs. WOW!!!! Thank you dude!! for sharing ur testimonials. for telling me little little things to cheer me up =))) Thanks!! Jane appreciates a lots!!! =))

Your favourite quote ''the right alttitudes make its own luck''. So, i will hold on the right n positive alttitudes to accomplish all the missions, to breakthrough all he hardships, to live for Him and glorify His Name!!! =)))

p/s : after the last tear drop there is love!!! Believe me....love from genuine peers always appear n approach to you when u need them!!! =)) So, thanks for sharing, thanks for encouraging, thanks for rousing, thanks for looking inside but not outside =D n we will strive hard sama-sama to get into DEN!!! remember the promise =))) Jiayou, we can!!!

my lil strong nephew....

hmmm, i felt that i am so useless when i saw how strong is my lil nephew who is only 3 years old...he had food poisoning last few days and being hospitalized for a night. We all are so worried about him coz he is so small in size. When the nurse wanted to pierce the needles into his small n skinny arms to get some blood n another one is to provide some glucose to him to make him alive, he didn't even cry...not even yelled or shouted....how strong he is???


i was standing by the bed to see what the nurse going to do to him. I even felt chilled when i saw the needles go into his fair flesh, i felt not good at all. Heart is pain when i saw the scene.....it's really cruel.....but no choice, to heal him from sickness, this is the only way u see....the only way...


i have a lots of thoughts after i saw the happening of whole incident....heart-striking but it's a good lesson which really inspired me....how useless am i who needs a 3 years old boy to teach me to be strong?? if he can make it....why can't i?? i should be strong as him....no shout, no tears, no blamings, no demands, no complaints, n no more making myself struggling till lost the pouching of heart and the living soul....



what dororthy said is truth.....why don't you try to let go as time flies??? you said you wanted to let go but your love tight your heart too tight till you can't see what is in front of you!!! This will only make yourselves struggle!!!! Pls try to do what you had told yourselves to....at least you tried....don't be fear!!! It's a good time for you to speak to the Lord, to close to Him, to lean on Him as much as you can and to love Him as He does!!!

There is a line between love and myself. Do i step both my feet on the love side or the side of myself??? or vice versa?? Do i jz tickled my toes on the love side but more to myself?? hmmm....i think i am the one who step both my feets on the love side and totally forget how to love myself more...it's the wrong way i know....it should not be like that...i should love myself more rather than give too much but nothing in return and end with strugglings.....i should be strong....should be cheerful....should be brave.....should LOVE MYSELF as God loves me so much!!! keepppppp theeeeeee faithhhhhhh my girl!!!

after the whole incident, my lil nephew still hang his lovely smile on his face although i know he is in pain. Yet, he jz smile.....a strong smile which inspired me so much to forget the pain n the past to continue life each day and to run towards the end with strong willpower n faith!!!

See.....how strong he is.....i can also be....it's only the matter i am willing or reluctant to really really put it down from heart...not sayings only but really do it....really go through the tough times to wait upon the sweet ones to appear or approach to me one day!!!

God always use different ways to push me up, to remind me and to mend me by his potter hands.....once i regreted that my tears fall in front of him as he asked for the chances, once i blamed myself when i spoke harsh words although my intention is good, once i let the matters be anyways as it will turn to, once i carried all the sins on my own shoudlers and once my heart stop pouching as it was tired of loving and more.....yet, i realized that i learnt a lots from love...love is more than a feeling, it's commitment which needs loyalty, responsibility n trust!!! I am learning to be more mature after mourning......n i am WILLING to be!!!

hmmm......need to go back to nz by tomorrow!!! mummy asked '' are you afraid??'' i was stunned by her asking actually but i replied ''No, i am not!!!''....HAHA...It's jz words to let her feel less worries.....Actually...i did feel afraid.....maybe there might be lesser n lesser supports from ppl but maybe this is the time God wants me to be closer n closer to Him each day.....hmmm....shooooooo all the insecure thoughts n feelings.........haha........i want to survive even though no ones by myside but You will always be there i know!!!

Going to miss Malaysia so much so much!!! Going to miss you guys here so much so much!!! Going to spend my last day in Malaysia this year (2009)!!! Going to run Run RUN towards the end STRONG!!!!

After The Last Tear Falls

yea....it's a very meaningful and inspiring song which i was deeply touched when i heard it in the Elim cafe service 4.....HAHAHAHA.....enjoy it!!!

remember '' everything, every moments, everytime, every incidents, every heartbrokens, every pains and hurts, every sufferings and struggles, every disappointments, every rejections, every failures,every ups and downs......AFTER THE LAST TEAR FALL....THERE IS L0V3 !!!''

3.2.1........

it's not the end!!! it's matter how u going to finish!!!

During the weeks....i am questioning myself : '' jane, are you going to give up?? are you stillgoing to be so weak to wait for sympathy and comforts from people?? are you still going to live under the shade of the pains?? are you still going to isolate yourself by stop hoping for any miracles??? are you still going to be a hypocrite?? or else....ARE YOU GOING TO FINISH STRONG?????

3 weeks to go exam is coming.......2 more assignments to due in......1 more heart to be fully heal!!!