Stick it pls!!!

hmm.....i am practicising to put in my contacts everyday. Yet, i did fail it all the times. It never ever goes into my eye once....not even once!!! My sis told me to stop blinking when u want to insert me my contacts. yes, i did stop blink my eyes!!! But, the results never turn out the way i desire for=((( i really have no idea what's wrong with my eyes. I really wish to try for it once. wanna to feel how contacts make me feel refreshed. wanna to take off my specs which i had worn for almost 10 years. sighhhhhhh.....failed!!!

Yet, i am not going to give up anyway. i will still try on. To be honest, contacts really cast out my fear n timidity. Although it's jz something which is transparent n soft n small , yet it's like something which build up my courage to do something i don't dare to try out. so yea!!! i need the COURAGE!!! The BIG COURAGE to face every single hardship which will be coming pretty soon!!! =)))

Oh...my contacts, i will never give up on you!!!
Oh...my promising 2010, i will make you eventful and fruitful!!!
Oh...my Above Papa, i will do my very best to make You proud of me n Glorify Your Name!!!! =))))

p/s : any suggestions on how to wear contacts easily???? i wanna know!!!

The first basketball game =))

I had the first basketball game after living for 19 years..and it's truth..i am not kidding!!! =))

~This is the first time i am being involved in the game with bros n sisters in christ.
~This is the first time i am not being considered as a transparent one.
~This is the first time ppl shouted my name and willing to pass the ball to me.
~This is the first time ppl encouraged me to score when ball in my hand.
~This is the first time i really let go my hypocrisy n enjoy the game.
~This is the first time i love ppl to shout at my name n pass the ball to me.
~This is the first time ppl willing to teach me what to do when ball is fallen in my hand.
~This is the first time ppl willing to build me up from my weaknesses.
~This is the first time i reckon basketball is a fantastic sport game.
~This is the time i fall in love with it =))

Thanks guys for the Love n Willingness =)))

a nice song.....

我哭了又哭，我知道我不能这样，不可以这样，但我真的真的好累，累到我好想停下来，好想休息，好想听听你的声音，好想看着你对我笑，什么都不用说地抱着我，但我却假装很坚强，再也不去多看你的一切。。。。你要我做的，尊守的，我都做了。。。但你永远也不会懂我是怎么过的。。。谢谢你总是出现在我梦里。。。。那样就够了。。。谢谢

Improvement.......

yea........
i did make some improvement in socialising.....tonight, church is having cafe service. Then suddenly in the afternoon cyrus, my lg co. leader asked to whether i can be usher or not...hmmm...without thinking too much, i promise him....yup, when i nearly reach church, suddenly i felt afraid....questions pop up on my mind '' what should i do as an usher??? what is cafe service about?? ''....i did in confusion that moment......haha....

finally, i reached church.....yet i didn't really dare to walk into the main centre coz that's so many ppl la!!! i am fear of ppl........sigh......someone come out and take me in at last....thx dor!!!
start ushering now......we are the'' all black'' ushering team....hehe.....it's quite fun to serve ppl and bring them to their sits....welcoming them.......simple yet i am finally serving in God's temple in nz!!! that really take me quite a big courage to open my mouth and smile with ppl.....yet, i did improve!!! =)

hmmm.....time allows pain fades.....time allows ppl to grow....yet, remember everytime whenever you are being dropped or you are so down....nothing will more than God's love to heal every soul and heart with his amazing works and miracles....

''让爱换个季节再开花结果，
看时间把伤口酿成了收获，
在风雪里最美的还是抱着你，
但也只是偶尔想起的回忆。

让爱换种感情再重新拥有， u comes out in my dream yesterday....
就算失去牵手好那种温柔， ask me not to be fear....
我还是会感觉到你牵着我， i cried to you in that dream........
我会把回忆全部存在心中。" jz cried without saying any words........
u touch my head to soothe me.....
i know your promises will not fail.........
thanks for coming into my dream........

MISSION...

i have a great mission to accomplish in my next 5 years....woohoo

the mission is :
~become a better person
~become a better daughter
~become a better sister
~become a better women
~become a better future wife
~become a better friend
~become a better christian as well

i hope after the next 5 years, i will be able to:
~say''I LOVE YOU'' to my mom & dad
~say''SORRY'' to my mom & dad
~be a humble as well as confident girl
~help the people who need my help
~grow up mentally and spiritually...not physically
~love God more and more everyday
~bring the''precious paper'' back to glorify His
name & let my mom & dad proud of me
~take care myself and others as well
~become a lovely girl who loves to smile

in future, i want to:
~tell my son ,daughter and grandchild about my experience and the proud
histories i had
~love and serve God till i die
~love my mom and dad
~love my future husband...be a great parents as well
~be volunteers to help the people who need help
~have a wonderful real life

7 days before i leave........that's the great MISSION i have to accomplish it........pls pray for me....thx.....

courage 勇气

how much courage do i need to persuade myself '' jane, just go!!!'? who will be the one at my side when i shout pain? can i take care of myself? how much energy and strenght do i need to go through this challenge? who will be the one at my side when i cry and helpless? who will be the one who always share my burdens and troubles? who will be the one who is willing to teach and help me in my academics? who will be the one who will never leave me alone? who? who? who?

其实，我比谁都害怕和担心，我只是不断地压抑自己的情绪，强颜欢笑的自己已经觉得很累了，太累了，心再也没有力量跳动，嘴再也无法像以前一样灿烂微笑，手脚也似乎没力移动，但有一位神却一直告诉我；‘我的女儿啊，你要勇敢，要坚强，要相信，要放下，我会背着你走完人生的道路因为你是我的女儿。’