life.....

sigh........i cant stop crying......can't able to stop my tears.....
after listening to the brief talk about health science course we can take next year, i was so disappointed and sad!!! i am in dilemma now......

limited places....least chances......i need to compete with thousands of ppl to get into the course i want and there is only 5 to 10 places....5 to 10 out of thousands....isn't possible??? such a HUGE challenge i never ever met......such a BIG disappointment i never ever have....such a overwhelming stress that i couldn't stand and carry....i am lost....totally lost.....lost in the pathway i am walking.....lost in the jungle which is too wide......lost in btw the sea which don't have the final end edge......lost!!!

sorry God, i blamed you so much!! i blamed that why You makes a big joke in my life......why You want to bring me here and there when i start to love and accustomed everything??? why you want a litttle me to block the stone which is attacking me all at once??

my faith and trust on You was defeated.......i fear....i worried....i don't what to do....i want to do it....yet i cant do......sigh...restricted?? locked??? all doors are clossed??

cry....cry.....cry.....where is the hope???