he makes my day :)

''enjoy!! let the fun flows, then the story goes better!!!'' ( courtesy of the cute cels lecturer, Frank Griffin)

MUAHAHAHA!!!!
you know what??
He is so cute!!!
He talks about his africa's stories!!!
and most importantly,
HE MAKE MY DAY :)
i like him!!!

needles. numbs.

( isn't painful enough?? i bet so..............)

now, my brain is jz stucked....

ohhh....celsss.....how can i absorb you guys??

i wonder '' how much more can i take??''

fear jz like needles...pokes and covers my whole heart...

till it numbs........

as my feet...it can numbs more than 10 times a day...

i can feel there are millions of needles poking on my feet....

soon it lost its feeling.....become spongy....soft...

then i need to put it straight to recover....

hmmm....annoying huh??

well....Abba Father....please please and please...give me sharp wisdom n mind...let me focus well...n let what i had memorized stay in my mind....

(quiet time today: if you wonder ''how much more can i take??'' Bishop JC Ryle: ''The only we may be assured of, that if tomorrow brings a cross, He who sends it can and will send the grace to bear it.'' In God's kingdom it works like this : Faith tested, character refined, abundance given.)

So, believe it or not?? i'm learning........

tiring day...

had been through 2 early morning lecture,
squeezing with 550 plus of ppl,
snatch a seat or else you have to leave,
yet, relationship among we girls bonding, growing =D,
bring me back to the wonderful childhood i had,
all GIRLS sharing secrets, reminds each other,
However, STILL,
ppl stressed inside out,
long queue for microbiology first lab on microscope,
rush back to have light lunch,
rush to school again to have the next lecture,
then, searching, asking here and there for printer and ink cartridge,
saving money as much as we can,
books, books, books...hardly been found,
walk back home with bags of groceries,
YEAH!!! Happy to be at home =D
Then, with God bless, had a simple yet delicious dinner,
cooked by one of the flatties (steven, you good chef man!!!)
my turn will be on the coming friday..
what to cook?? i have no idea....sighh...
And me tired until fall asleep when we are having dinner...
HAHA...gonna to revise, REVISE!!!
GO jane GO!!!
Treasure this journey =))
Tough but you had grown up, don't you??
Thanks God for today =D

Regret ?!

After the first day of the new episode of life, i was so stressed. Nah, not only me, but ppl around me were so stressed. Everyone seems to be stressed out. Once finish the first lec of a subject, people rush to the library to revise and REVISE. I really have no idea what can we revise as the first lec is all about the introductions of all subjects that we are taking. Well, ''stress'' can be clearly felt when dorothy and i are lining up to buy the biological physic coursebook n textbook which are only available in a small corner of uni library---uniprint. That's really a LONG queue!!! Duhhhh....

Urghhh....my disobedient stomach was stirring the whole day...kinda like killing me....felt so unwell. But, i still can survive!!! STILL CAN!!! We make it to the early 8 lecture today and finish by 12pm due to no labs this week =)) something to be happy with!!! Then, we go town to find books n printer. Huhu....walking here n there...searching n searching...worrying if we don't manage to find the printer we want. Ink cartridges here are really costly. We want to save as much as we can as we know that those money didn't come so easily. Those are all the ''sweats, tears and blood'' of our parents. So yea...we are really stingy in everything but not to God we promise =)))

After a hard day, finally, i got some times to sit down and take a rest in meanwhile reflects myself in those things i did and the altitude i had for the day. Then, dad calls. He is asking me whether am i good here and can i survive here. I didn't really say much but jz say ''yes, i am okay, don't worry!!! i still can survive as i am your daugther.'' Lastly, he asked me '' are you regret of leaving home and taking such a great risk to get into the course you want??'' I didn't really say anything but my tears fall. It's jz falling. Yet, i told him i didn't regret and i will do my very best for Him and you n mum =)))

No more any thought of regrets in your mind.
Study.Love God n People. Serve. Smile. That's Jane.

Footprints in the sand

You walk with me,
footprint in the sand,
and help me understand where i'm going,
You walk with me,
when i was all alone,
with so much unknown along the way,
and i heart You say,
i promise you i always there,
when your heart is filled with sorrow and despair,
i'll carry you when you need a friend,
you will find my foodprint in the sand.....

All are going to start, yet i am still unprepared well...felt like so broken..
Don't you heard a story about sand before?? When you hold the sand too tight on your palm, it will flow away from palm more easily. It could be said that holding onto all this too tightly is taking its toll. For instance, tightly holding a relationship, a dream, a past and a future may make you lost all these eventually.

''why? why holding onto all this may make you lost them lastly??'' Ans: in relationship, holding each other too tightly might cause both parties lose their own space and time to reflect themselves. Thus, as time flies, both parties discover that their love has no more space to grow and eventually ends up with HURT. Secondly, in a dream, if we hold too tightly in a particular dream, we might have too high expectations as stress is all around us. Slowly, stress might become the main killer. Thirdly, if we keep on looking or reminiscencing the past either a happy one or a broken one, we might not have the courage or willingness to move on. Afterall, we are still living in the past but not present.

So, need to always remind myself that i am sitting on the front seat, don't bother what's the back n sides going on. Do what i need to do is the most significant task. Tmrw is a start for me as uni starts, there are gonna to be nearly 1500 ppl......Yet, always have a pair of footprint accompany me to walk through the journey.

(To me, i fear, as 1500 ppl seems like a HUGE stone which is gonna to roll to me, to attack me........i have to break the stone and bring back the victory on hands....jiayou!!!)

life.....

sigh........i cant stop crying......can't able to stop my tears.....
after listening to the brief talk about health science course we can take next year, i was so disappointed and sad!!! i am in dilemma now......

limited places....least chances......i need to compete with thousands of ppl to get into the course i want and there is only 5 to 10 places....5 to 10 out of thousands....isn't possible??? such a HUGE challenge i never ever met......such a BIG disappointment i never ever have....such a overwhelming stress that i couldn't stand and carry....i am lost....totally lost.....lost in the pathway i am walking.....lost in the jungle which is too wide......lost in btw the sea which don't have the final end edge......lost!!!

sorry God, i blamed you so much!! i blamed that why You makes a big joke in my life......why You want to bring me here and there when i start to love and accustomed everything??? why you want a litttle me to block the stone which is attacking me all at once??

my faith and trust on You was defeated.......i fear....i worried....i don't what to do....i want to do it....yet i cant do......sigh...restricted?? locked??? all doors are clossed??

cry....cry.....cry.....where is the hope???