time to go.....

yea......2 more hours to go to airport and begin my journey back home!! hmmm.....
i am trying to ask myself '' girl, are you ready to be backed??? are you??'' , i did scare and fear.....
but, i really have no ideas why there is no peace in my heart when the time is nearer and nearer....i felt like blogging coz no ones to talk and share with or i don't how to pour it out in words......so i can feel the good and bad thoughts are fighting with each other right now.....isn't something cool???

how can i really describe the mixture of complicated feelings to be backed this time??? i kinda have a little bit of excitement yet a feeling of chicken-hearted outweights it. Can anyone tell me why??? why there is no peace in heart??? it's so strange!!! even me, myself can't able to find out the reasons......fear?? stress?? nervous??

yea....what can really attract and comfort me now is the FOOD in my hometown.....HAHAHAHA!!!! n my warm bed and toilets too!!! n mummy, daddy n sis as well!!! really wish to have a good chat with them as i always used to......esp my sis.....HEHEHE!!!
wish to play piano that i long time didn't touch with.......hehehehe.....n wish to see my very cute nephew who always sing to me!!! (yupe!!! i am comforting myself with my very great imaginations now!!!)

fear to face reality??? fear to hear lots and lots of advices??? fear to be nagged and nagged??? fear to be criticized??? fear to make decisions or accept the changings??? fear to encounter with ppl?? hmmmmmm.........don't be so pressurized girl!!!!! be happy...and refreshed from the holidays coz things may get tougher and tougher as time goes....no ones going to accompany the next sem.....everyone is leaving soon.....sigh!!! ( history of loneliness might be displayed again!!! me don't want to face if it is possible!!!)

hmmmm.....stop thinking......shoo you the negative thoughts which my emo-ness and depression may arise!!!

p.s be good with dad and mum....show how much you had grown.....
p.s eat all FOOD you miss so much!!!
p.s don't be so stressed!!!
p.s be strong to face the horrible and lonely next sem after the brief holidays!!!
p.s GO TO BED NOW AND STOP THINKING!!!

(peace....peace.....p.s come to my heart now!!! i need you to calm me down......)