beginning and the end.

Yesterday,
he asked me '' Are you ready to finish this sem?? and looking forward to the next??''
I looked at him and say nothing....
I was in deep thought about it....
Am i ready to let it to be ended just like that??
The ''not very promising'' results,
The ''not very excellent'' english,
The ''not very sustainable'' determinations,
I should have done more,
to make it better,
to not let myself feel bad,
to not let him down,
to make them proud,
to glorify His Great Name.

I really should do more, improve more, focus more, and be determined till the very last.
I have to,
I must.

So, God, pls be with me till the very end. And I NEED YOU desperately!!!!

Courage is fear holding on a minute longer. --General Patton

so, hold on!!!

Beautiful soul

so addicted to this song (jesse is so handsome!!) , esp when everything juggled.

I don't want another pretty face,
i don't want just anyone to hold,
i don't want my love goes to waste,
i want you and your beautiful soul.
You're the one i want to chase,
you're the one i want to hold,
i won't let another minutes goes to waste,
i want you and your beautiful soul.

i just want You,only You.

When there's only a little time left....

sigh....sigh...SIGH....
when there's only a little time left, i wish it could be duplicated.
when there's only a little time left, everything become a little less.
when there's only a little time left, i lost my way and focus.
when there's only a little time left, i wish to step on the brake.
when there's only a little time left, i hope to halt the time.
when there's only a little time left, biological clock goes in wrong way.
when there's only a little time left, every obligations is being juggled.
when there's only a little time left, negative thoughts all come up.
when there's only a little time left, i am becoming someone who is so impatient!!!

really unbearable to my impatience, REALLY!!!
my mood swing is jz so random and terrible, worst i could say.
he say ''be more patient. No use to yell at the food as it will not be cooked any faster.''
he say ''be more patient. I am trying my best to wash faster, sorry.''
he say ''be more patient. The singer will not sing for you eventually.''
I wonder why i am becoming so so so grumpy and naggy!!!

Devotion today :
''whatever you do,work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters. (colossians 3:23) ''

In the busyness of life, it's easy to only give a half-hearted effort, it's easy to become impatient in dealing things. There's so much to do and so many insignificant, monotonous tasks that need to be completed even though you don't really feel like doing it and so we often try to get by with giving only a small amount of energy. But, that's so wrong because things will never turn out well if we didn't really give our heart on it, it will never ever be good enough to glorify His name.

I reckon this is all i have to learn to become a better person. No matter in personal growth, daily life or in academic and even in social life, i should work at them with all my heart. I should focus and give my best in the small things then it will flow through in to all the other areas of my life. Should really really be more patient, less grouchy, or else will grow old super fast!!! :(

(Upon looking around the playground He noticed me coming His way and the change in me is remarkable) --i really really wish i could say it out loudly and proudly one day!!! :)

he makes my day :)

''enjoy!! let the fun flows, then the story goes better!!!'' ( courtesy of the cute cels lecturer, Frank Griffin)

MUAHAHAHA!!!!
you know what??
He is so cute!!!
He talks about his africa's stories!!!
and most importantly,
HE MAKE MY DAY :)
i like him!!!

The 3 words...

''I LOVE YOU'',

these 3 words can mean a lots to some people,

yet it could jz be joke to some,

still, to me, i'm terrified of it,

terrified of either hearing or saying.

There are couples that commit to saying it to each other every single day, no matter what happens. On contrary, some only say it if they really, really mean it. They take the words very seriously and will refrain from saying them just as a response. There are some extreme ways of dealing with these three powerful words.

To me, i would say that i'm entirely terrified of these 3 words. I'm jz at the somewhere near the end of the extreme and see these words in fear and insecurity. Neither would i throw them around willy-nilly nor spur it out. And, it could be completely deleted or erased from my mind.

I'm jz don't really have the trust and faith in love or romance as promises always fail, expectations never come true, the feelings towards each other say bye, betrayal, unfaithfulness, changes of characteristics and many many reasons. Those pulls me down from believing it, takes away the attractions towards opposite sex, snatches away the feelings of being in loved and kills my heart till only bitterness left. So, for now, i'm not even want to fall in love to somebody and not even want to be loved. And, i don't think i'm really, indeed ready for it.

Thus, single always win, it never lie, never make you falls apart, never make your heart broken and never ever make you bitter!!!

Somehow, my mum told me, bible says '' These people will wait until they're ready to walk down aisle with someone before uttering these three words'' (2John 1:1-13). And, i believe that as much as i agree with this verse. So, wait until you're ready, then say, commit and sustain to suppress all till the very very end. God will definitely smile at you and say ''You guys make it!! well done!!! :) ''

just like them!!!! :)

door....

''when one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. '' -helen keller.

So,

when one way of success closes, another opens?

when one's relationship closes, another opens?

when one door of dream closes, another opens?

so isn't when one closes, another will definitely opens?

if it's , why people always look so long at the closed one, haunted by the past, suffered from the pain, became a bitter fellow, yet still do not want to reach out to the opened ones, still do not want to accept the opened ones??

Isn't it so fun and interesting to stop, stay at the roaring strong waves which is hitting your boat from time to time rather than keep paddling till you reach the tranquil and calm sea??