只是想。。。

谁说我不害怕?
我害怕了，真的。。。
害怕上英文，
害怕找不到资料，
害怕没准备好，
害怕我不会做，
害怕做不好，
害怕一间家只有自己，
害怕一个人时想起你，
害怕失去所以不期望，
害怕跟你说多你不理，
害怕我并没有那么坚强，
害怕自己不小心哭泣，
害怕脸上失去笑容，
害怕受伤所以不想爱，
害怕太过明感你离开，
害怕，全都害怕，

所以能多坚强就多坚强，
能多勇敢就多勇敢，
能笑多久就笑多久，

但现在的自己就只是想哭泣。。。。

'' u jz know how depressed and in distress ppl around u r, n u jz know i should be happy instead of depressed....u will comfort ppl around u who is in distress but u will never ever bother me when i am the one who is in distress...n i jz know that u will leave me or not even want to bother me when i am emo....coz u said ''being emotional will draw ppl around u away...so do you!! '' hmm....so....see....r u satisfied now with who i am?? a happy n strong girl who will never ever cry ?? do u really think that u can control ppl emotion by jz say so?? do you have the right to do so?? do you ever be considerate enough to think for ppl in her/his position?? isn't he / she want to be emotional?? or they are really frustrated with somethings?? or they jz feel discouraged due to certain reasons??

'' i am avoiding hope to protect myself against being hurt.....is not the right action i know, yet at least i can feel better.....n u will never ever understand!!!''