i was quite down last few days due to many things. I can't really have the energy or regain it to fight for the rest of the days, weeks n months because i can't find out a purpose to be alive.....physically alive but with a dead soul. i seems like a zombie walking here n there when time reaches or i have a class to attend. i lost my smiley face, cheerful heart with great enthusiasm and a strong willpower or determination to accomplish what i had promised!!! That's horrible n torturing.....living but don't for what....n jz know i have to live....
hmmm....yesterday night, gorgor was chatting with me. He asked me '' how are you mui??''. That was the first time i really don't want to say out how am i to him because i don't want him to worry as he is examing...but finally i poured out all...n tears fall naturally......long time didn't see gorgor already....i miss him so much....i saw his blog....a touching n inspiring story which is really really push me up from the depression. I love one of the phrase '' live passionately for a cause and fight for it for Him no matter how much you need to sacrifice or how hard it will be''.....hmmm, the phrase was like a click which awake me from those insignificant questions which had bothered me for few days and i had sleep deprived because once i close my eyes, a sound came '' jane, how are you going to live through tmrw?? how?? why you want to be alive??? what is the purpose to live??'' .....The repeating same askings kept on flashed through my mind everytime i close my eyes....then tears fall unconciously....n my pillow got wet...it was like nightmare!!!
But, last night was a peaceful one....gorgor accompanied by willing to sing a song to make me sleep...it was sweet indeed!!! n finally i had a really really nice n calm sleep...the song is ''someday we'll know'' which has really really good lyrics....haha....i appreciated a lots because i have family here...a bro who never ever leave me alone when i need him as like family will never ever leave you when you need them. This is how nice you see......how sweet.....like a guardian angel who is delivered by God to me by His grace.....
n This morning was a nice one as well...there were 2 kiwis smile to me. Those were warmy smile which healed small parts of my hurts n filled little space of my emptiness in heart. I love to see ppl smile to me. A simple smile may change one's mood of a day or may make some differents of one's life. A simple smile has its great power which bring joy, encouragement, support, and life to someone. Thus, smile as much as you can to ppl....they will feel it one day n it is worthy to do so!!!
SMILE GENEROUSLY!!!
hmmmm....this was a simple but joyful post with grateful heart from me-a girl which is leading her simple life passionately for a cause n promise.
''An out of tuned song may touch someone and make her calm n sleep in the embrace of peace,
A simple smile with lovely heart may bring a change in her life n mood,
A lovely heart n willingness may make her feel loved as a family as he never ever let her go or leave her alone.''
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