hooray!!! i went to amelia's lifegroup today!!! i was kinda enjoying it though it was only 5 of pretty girls in that group and i am the youngest among them....haha....we talked and discussed about '' i am who i am named''....now, i realised that there are so many people masked, packed and decorated themselves to find the security which they lost it for a long time. Undeniably, i am also one of the members of them...being a hypocrite!!! It doesn't make us internally happy or joyful. It just make us feel even worse...depressed....or hate till even isolate ourselves...It really need such big courage and willingness to stand up from such deep valley...now, actually i am frustrating about many assignments and groupworks which totally discouraged me.....thinking of giving up sometimes....negative thought always flashing through my mind....what should i do actually?? being bullied because i am asian??? or stand up and speak out all my worries instead or burdening myself each day???
hmmm......i had been tried so hard to cast off my pain and hurts....had been trying so hard to learn to love this place and such great opportunities in my life.....once i thought '' this chance is so cruel....made me even lost who i am...lost the loved ones.....lost my emotion and smile as well...''
Now, i learn to tressure and appreciate as much as i can coz God had given me a great chance and mission to accomplish in my life....there might be a lots of obstacles, barriers and hardships waving with me...yet it is the only way to make me growing and growing each day either in maturity or spiritually....yeah, God is awesom !!!
amelia and annet did encourage me to have faith as i told them '' losing hope and faith'' is something really holding me back now....due to fearfulness of love, i lose hope and faith on myself...keep on doubting on my ability and critizing myself......it caused doubt of who i am named and made and selected by GOD!!! They told me '' don't masked urself to seek for security and comfort from ppl surrounding you in urself....be satisfied with yourselves no matter with ur beauty, weight and height, personallities, race, origin and etc yet it doesn't mean that we don't have to make any improvement in our life.'' so '' girl, jz have a click on ur mindset that ''STOP IT!!! GET OUT OF DEPRESSION!!! STEP OUT!!! YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE NAMED!!! NOT THE EXTRA.....SO U R SPECIAL!!! SO LOVE URSELF!!!'' sounds nice actually.......hehehehehe.....filled up my batteries again and start to stride back into my life......
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