"In Me"

by casting crowns

If you ask me to leap

Out of my boat on the crashing waves

If You ask me to go

Preach to the lost world that Jesus saves

I'll go, but I cannot go alone

Cause I know I'm nothing on my own

But the power of Christ in me makes me strong

Makes me strong

Cause when I'm weak, You make me strong

When I'm blind, You shine Your light on me

Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability

How refreshing to know You don't need me

How amazing to find that you want me

So I'll stand on Your truth, and I'll fight with Your strength

Until You bring the victory,

by the power of Christ in me

If You ask me to run

And carry Your light into foreign land

If You ask me to fight

Deliver Your people from Satan's hand

To reach out with Your hands

To learn through Your eyes

To love with the love of a savior

To feel with Your heart

And to think with Your mind

I'd give my last breath for Your glory

(I am so attached this song nowadays...It's speaking from God to me. Sighhh....sick in the first week of this great war. Everyone is so tensed. Not joining in any lifegroup now. Actually, i really don't know which LG to go to as my previous one has been splited. Kind of discouraged though especially during this time when i want to talk to somebody, want to express all the 'tiredness' and 'stress' to somebody who i can really pour out to. My best friend here, dorothy, who is more stressed than me, but thanks for always there. We make a promise to ace for med together yet it's so hard so hard for me. However, this song is hit me, hit my heart....How amazing to find out that You want me...i jz feel so amazing with his LOVE. When there is nobody by your side to listen to you, or jz to encourage you or push you through, He always the only one who wants you. So, stand up for His truth, fight with Your strength, He will bring you the victory. So sick now.....sorethroat, fever, sneeze sneeze, stressed inside out.....Yet, You make me strong, make me strong!!! let's survive for the second week!!!)

Sukan, merentas desa, you, i miss.......

Hoho.....striving my very best for this coming exam but i doubt my ability n my laziness always devastate all!!! =(( sighhhh...where is the passion i used to have gone???

ohhh....remember what was i doing at the very beginning of 2008?? hmmm....practising hard for Sukan and merentas desa (long run 5km in the forest area!!! ) How much i miss that moment!!! awww!!! i wish i could go back and everything jz repeated again =)))

Sukan....i miss the time when we were striving n practising hard jz to get a point in each section for our rumah (house). I was in Rumah Abubakar ( the reddish one!!!) Jensen, Kokwei, liwen, tongming, qianru, xueyee were all in my rumah =)). Hehe....we had so much fun during sport practice. Liwen n me always well-prepared ourselves by running n running around the field under the hot sun. Yet, we jz enjoying so much. The sweat, the bear feet on the grass, the passion n enthusiasm in giving our very best jz for a point. Yet, i had to admit that i am not the athletic type as i am always the last one to reach the cut off point in 100m running and i can't do short jump too =((( Short jump...wooohooss!!! i remembered that Kokwei is a pro in that. He teached us how to jump when sport practice. Due to the lack of short jump spot, we put few branches on the grass as cut off point n a piece of big leaf as the stepping wood..how creative is we?? HAHAHA....then we kept practising by using our invention till everyone had already left school. n We never ever miss a sport practice. NEVER!!!SEE PPL!!! how much commitment we put in!!! n STILL, we (kok, liwen, jensen, me) rushed for the next tuition after practice although body still stinking with the smelly sweat. But, we were happy and satisfied at that time!!! REALLY!!! =)))

Then, merentas desa....wootsss...my favourite!!! We practised hard to be able to complete the race=the very long run. Before the night of rentas desa, we always text our peers to bring along some sweets, a bottle of glucose drink (ribenna) and a small tower to tie on wrist. We remind each other coz we care. Not care for the victory, but care for the safety n health of each n other. In the early morning, we gathered at stadium for warming up n cheering for our rumah. Of course, we helped each other to pin up the number on the front n back of our shirt (did that btwn girls n boys of course.) When it was the time for girls to run, guys will jz shout to support us along the way. When we nearly reached the destination, guys always shout '' Go, Go, Only left few steps n time, Go for it. YOU CAN!!!'' I love the ''shouting n cheering'' as those really boost my determination to carry on n finish the race, the really tough one =)) When we reached the destination, guys always stand by at the very front as we might fall down or jz pengsan. Some of them will give us drink n ask us to sit down n rest. SEE...how lovely we were....

You, my very very best buddy, someone who never ever leave me when i need you, always support me in every race i run. I miss you, EA GUO SHENG!!! everytime, before rentas desa, before sukantara, before sport practices, before extra classes, before EXAMs, you will surely come to me n ask me '' have u eaten?? are you alright?? need any help??'' . You always do that. We always pin the rentas desa number for each other, we always cheer for each other, we always laugh to each other, we always help each other,we always care for each other. No matter in sports or academic stuffs, you always always be there for me as my stand by. Always the first one to greet me ''happy birthday'', always reserve a place for me in addmath tuition, always lend me all the stuffs u have ( glue, liquid paper, tissue paper, colour pensil, scissors and many more), always remind me on my weaknesses n faults, always ask me what i had for lunch, always lend me ur piggy purplish umbrella when we walked down the hill for lunch,always ask me not to be so rude as i am a girl, always bear my grumbling n emotions, always listen to my naggings and cries, always n always got to know my habits. Yet, after all of all, u still there. No matter how bad n pampered i am, u still always be there for me, never ever ''dropped'' me. Even i am here, thousands mile away from you, u still care for me n ask me how's my doing whenever you free. I still grumble to you, tell u my burdens n stuffs i confused n don't know. Still, we are very very best friend, buddy till now!!! I miss you so much so much!!! =(((

Exam periods boost up my nostalgia in the past. Sports, peers, good buddy and of course my family ( Lao Ba, mama n meimei) I always looking forward when you guys talk to me through skype. I always waiting for time struck to 10PM (msia time) to see whether family is online. I always insomnia and cry to myself when i am so stressed!!! =((( I always felt guilty n sinful when i didn't do well or never ever give my very best. This time i doubt myself again. sighhhhhh.....

I miss you guys so much!!! I miss the life we doing together so much!!!
Coz there are jz so much so much more meaningful n worthy to me!!!!
I kinda homesick, peer sick n jz sooooooo sickkkkkk!!!!