DECISION

HAIZ.....
is it so hard for me to make my own decision??
you all are not in my situation....how can you all make a decision for me??
am i being too rash?? or irrational??
i am not!!! i jz want to live better....live like a proper human being....not robot...
you can abandon me....i don't even care!!! coz i can and He is there for me....not you!!!
when she asked me '' don't you feel any dissapointment when he never want to notice your existence?? i said'' NO!!! I AM NOT!!!'' i had became a girl who is so tough....i cant imagine!!
when i saw from the email from my aunt to my cousin....she said'' i hate her emational and randomness...she can lose two years...but you cant!!!''

ooo...mummy...i thought i will cry....yet i didn't....not even want to....coz i was always being hurt and abandoned....still, i am so strong to move on....strive hard...waiting for miracles and light in the darkness..

LOSE....i will not lose...i don't even want to lose!!! it is my obligation to accomplish my mission....
''Believe me.....i will still move on....coz He is always there for me to rely and cry on.....''