God, what you want me to do??

''God, what you want me to do??''
Sighhhh.....what a week man!! a busiest week ever which i have to go through.....
who say i'm not scared??
who say no more tears means i'm strong enough??
who say i'm superwomen??

No...ALL WRONG!!
So tired...
so broken...
so weak....
till i have not been able to sit and take a proper rest.
till i have not been able to spend some time with Him.....

so many obstacles,
challenges go and come again,
go and come again, even getting BIGGER and bigger each time...
BIGGER than all them??
Don't you know it's so hard??
i choose not to complain...not even a word or grumble out of my mouth...
i choose to appreciate...to continue...to hang on...to live for Him...

So, God, can You pls tell me what You want me to do?? what am i fighting so hard for??
what is the purpose for sending me here but failing in everything?? what am i going to do for You?? So muchhhh ques juggling in my mind....so mucchhh....

Yet, You tell me to have faith in You with actions. coz with faith but no action, the faith is dead!!

I know my redemeer lives....coz He let me live.....

me myself...

Hmm...
i'm disappointed on myself...
I'm disappointed in everything i'm procrastinating...
I'm scared i fail so, i withdraw,
I'm scared what if people know my stories,
so i always lie, lie to the world, lie till i can't even reach my own stories...

I'm terrified of people's sympathy as it's not love,
I'm terrified of judgement as it's not care,
I'm terrified to let ppl step into my little own world....
coz i scare expectations fail, love fails understandings fail,

so, i choose to build the wall as high as possible,
i choose to harden my fragile heart so it won't break so easily,
I choose to let myself to be the strongest one,
I choose to smile and laugh everyday even though inside is so bitter.....

who am i?? i can't even tell u if u throw such a question to me...
i will just say i don't know, really i don't...

Love me means understand me??
Nope....all and all is only disappointments and disappointments instead....
So, no more jane!!! NO MORE....

Stand up, be yourself!!!
Fight for Him.....
LIVE FOR HIM...

Goodbye to you !! :)

After the kinda long talk to you on skype,
i reckon that we have changed so much since the thing had past for a very long time,
still, not really long enough for me to get ready to get into another courtship,
But, i'm very sure that finally i have get over you!!
Goodbye to you!!!
Goodbye to everything that i knew about you!!!

HOOO!!!
Finally...
After such a long time,
After such a heartbroken experience,
After such a longsuffering healings,
i FINALLY GET OVER you!!!
and you know what?
i FINALLY can encounter myself,
and the reality of you love her
with all my blessing and pretty smile!!!

NO MORE JEALOUSY!!
NO MORE SORROW!!
NO MORE PAIN!!
HOW AWESOME huh??

and i know that i'll take good care of myself,
i'll let myself to live happily,
i'll let myself to have a life that i want so much,
i'll do everything that i promised Him for Him and His people,
i'll be a better person afterall!! :)

And, kudos to Wei :))
Thanks for the accompaniment till so far,
Thanks for reminding me to be myself yet not ashamed,
Thanks for the bearing and patience,
Thanks for being there to talk to me, and listen,

And i'll be given the best man ever by Him in one point of my life..
coz i'll be loved....

A Prom :)

Well,

i really wish to go to a prom with you in blue someday :)

it'll be very awesome i suppose!!!

That pic shows the ''blue'' that i wish both of us wearing in our first ball :)
The strip line blazer shown above is as similar as yours!! and i wish to wear the dark-blue dress shown to suit you!!:)